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wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

0 posted 2005-01-11 06:52 PM


it's a highly addictive business, the rhythmn of mine is off, but adheres to the triolet rules, i hope you all have a go too:

I used to be awake and you asleep.
I’d count the lonely freckles on your chest.
I imagined you where somewhere quite deep.
I used to be awake while you were asleep,
So I distracted myself (I couldn’t sleep)
Watched your constellations stutter rest.
I used to be awake and you asleep,
So I’d count the lonely freckles on your chest.


© Copyright 2005 Claire Lucille - All Rights Reserved
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
1 posted 2005-01-12 09:06 PM


Wings,
I vaguely remeber that it rhymes with "Chevrolet" not "violet", beyond that I'm gonna have to hit the books. Excellent idea.
Doc

wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
2 posted 2005-01-13 07:25 AM


the 1st line is repeated on the fourth and seventh line. the second line is repeated on the 8th line. it's an 8 lines poem. and the rhyme scheme is
a
b
a
a
a
b
a
b

so just two rhymes in the whole poem. the theme is often that of circularity (rrepetitivness etc) or of a situation that cannot be resolved.

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
3 posted 2005-01-13 10:46 AM


Actually Doc, it does rhyme with violet. These things can be a real challenge as well as addictive. We did this once before and I have a bunch I posted then. Sounds like fun Claire. I'll see if I can write something new and join in.

Ok, here's the link to the old ones. And one more here.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2005-01-13 10:54 AM



Seems to me I attempted this...I shall
either dust an oldie off, OR attack a
new one...

They can be mind-benders!

wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
5 posted 2005-01-13 11:04 AM


do! do! it's fun...
Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
6 posted 2005-01-13 11:40 PM


*laughs* I sat down to try this...and I fear I got to stuck on trying to come up with something to write about   

A challenge I see that I must do
But I know not what to write
Still I take this dare from you
A challenge I see that I must do
Something never tried, but new
Though I fear my words are a fright
A challenge I see that I must do
And still I know not what to write

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
7 posted 2005-01-14 09:38 AM


I think this was the first thing I ever did in the Poetry workshop.  :-)  Made me want to join.  But, hopefully, I'll come up with something new.  Haven't written much lately.  Bout time I did something about that.  

By the way - I really like the sound of your triolet.  :-)

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2005-01-14 10:23 AM


Sigh...had to go to the archives...

Ruby

She, accursed with red ruby lips
That pout and purse at me in trust
From which sweet words of love doth slip
She, accursed with red ruby lips
As she puts hands to slender hips
And bids me love her as I must
She, accursed with red ruby lips
That pout and purse at me in trust.

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
9 posted 2005-01-14 05:05 PM


Dang good ladies. Come on Sunshine, just because I had to go to the archives doesn't mean you should too. I like that on though. I don't remember seeing it before. Ok, I'll still write one if you will too.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2005-01-14 05:15 PM



Ok, Pete...just because you plead so nicely...

I'll see what I can trump up this weekend...

any hints as to subject matter?  C'mon, kickstart my muse, please???

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
11 posted 2005-01-14 06:40 PM


Dear lady, if I had any ideas, I whould have already written mine

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2005-01-16 02:07 PM


Ok, Pete...posted!
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
13 posted 2005-01-16 03:13 PM


All right, I guess I better get off my lazy you know what and get after it.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2005-01-19 06:19 AM


Wings...flap us a new one...
wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
15 posted 2005-01-19 07:00 AM


flap? yes, i'm in desperate need of a new screen name...

i'm thinking of a new triolet...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2005-01-19 07:24 AM



Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
17 posted 2005-01-19 10:21 AM


Yes, hurry up. After all, you did start all this.

lokiwolf
Junior Member
since 2006-06-27
Posts 31

18 posted 2006-06-30 12:27 PM


ok heres a quick one:


A graceful cat
she stalks her prey
three mice and a rat
A graceful cat
she settles down on her mat
the same place her mother lay
A graceful cat
she stalkers her prey

Skippyrick
Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150
Rohnert Park
19 posted 2006-07-04 12:39 PM


yes I know that these two are not new but well I loves to share and well maybe I'll write some others soon.

Rick

MY BLACK CAT

Light gray blue covered steps
When Choco dies I’ll cry
Torn paws, credit card debts
Light grey blue covered steps
My compawdre my pet
Protect me, evil passes by
Light blue grey covered steps
When Choco dies I’ll cry

Update is that Choco is now thirteen and his back hips nolonger work  so he drags himself around the house doing little circels and so on.

AGING

Growing old need not be
Like heavy winter air
Or wilted dieing trees
Growing old need not be
Blowing in the breeze
Age is like a love affair
Growing old need not be
Like heavy winter air

By Rick Slottow
5\11\97

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