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(Frost)Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest of them all?
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(Frost)Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest of them all?
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(Frost)Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest of them all? |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land 
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I never saw a smile so sweet Yet spread upon it a white sheet For it was mine, the mirror did Reflect: vanity. Stay a treat. Not that I am pretty, forbid My mirror to say so! Do bid It to court the harsh light’s glare and, Place scrofulous spots on my grid. My dear truth-teller in my hand, Ill-treated so oft, yet still grand, I recognise your loyalty And its reward shall well be canned. You will retire as royalty. Never more your speciality Shall hitch your personality, Shall hitch your personality. ---- not very good, the D rhymes are not quite correct, and i hate the word canned....sorry! |
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| © Copyright 2004 Claire Lucille - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
It is so good to see you participate in this not-so-easy exercise! Thank you! I think that one of the hardest things to do is to stick to a pattern of rhyme and meter and still have it make sense. This was a great effort on your part and you should be proud at having completed it! Keep om writing what's in your heart Take care and thanks again! Hugs Liz |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
yes, this made sense to me, but in free-verse i would have found ways of expressing myself in a clearer manner with means that were not available yet for me here. still, one day  thanks for your warm welcome |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Wings, I'm with Liz on this one, definitely keep writing, things have a way of falling into place. You obviously have a talent for putting your thoughts to words, let's hear more. Doc |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
cheers, i just find these forms hard to cope with as i'm so used to free-verse. Things should eventually get better though... but again, thank you all for your kind words |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Wings - You'll do well here with us. Our members are very supportive and always willing to help with positive and constructive advice. You did a pretty darned good job here. Free verse is an art in itself, but structured verse - written so that it flows in meter and rhyme - is a masterpiece when written well.. Stick around - You'll be glad you did.. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Wings, I agree with Nan that you will do well in this workshop (you already are!) but I personally find free verse very difficult to write and have yet to produce anything good. But I try. It is always exciting to try new things in poetry. Liz |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I completely agree! When I first joined the workshop, I didn't understand meter and rarely followed a set form. But, trying it actually opened up more possibilites to me instead of limiting me. I love trying these new ideas and it seems like you will too! I must say I really enjoyed reading this peice. It's good that it's so original. I look forwarding to reading more of your writings. :-) |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
Elizabeth, thanks for your words, i've never met anyone who was more "a l'aise" in meter than free verse, which makes you very interesting in my eyes. Maybe a workshop should be spent exploring a particular side to free verse? Endles echo: you have me off smiling all day |
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(Frost)Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest of them all?
