Love and Pain ( A villanelle)

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Poetry Workshop

Love and Pain ( A villanelle)

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

0 posted 2003-12-29 01:54 PM

Love and Pain

I labor hard to make my writing tight.
No way can I perform here as I ought
At evening when I sit myself to write.

Could I but make my words come out all right!
And lest my thoughts sometimes will go for naught,
I labor hard to make my writing tight.

I want to make my reader feel the bite
And know the battles that I’ve gone and sought,
At evening when I sit myself to write.

I’ve struggled hard to joust with all my might,
Not giving quarter on the grounds I’ve fought.
I labor hard to make my writing tight

In life, we know we live a sorry plight
and love for us cannot be simply bought,
At evening when I sit myself to write

Is life for me a lovely thing? Not quite!
My face reveals the love and pain I’ve wrought.
I labor hard to make my writing tight
At evening when I sit myself to write.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-12-29 04:16 PM

Wonderful villanelle Ken!
That I coud write one as well as you.
Love it dear friend.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

2 posted 2004-01-01 01:21 AM

kayjay,
Applause... To my mind there is nothing to be added or taken away from this. It sounds
well.
Doc

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 2004-01-09 09:57 AM

I feel the bite, Ken - This is wonderful - I do enjoy your contributions to our forum... Stick around, m'friend...

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

4 posted 2004-01-09 10:06 AM

Thank you, Doc and E
For kind remarks to me.
And also special Nan
Who convinces me I can
Join this motley crew,
Making other poets rue
Our advance in poet's skill.
I'll learn them, yes, I will!
KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

5 posted 2004-01-09 10:15 AM

Wow! I envy your ability to write such an original and full villanelle. I enjoyed. Thank you.

harash
Member

since 2003-12-27

Posts 99
India

6 posted 2004-01-09 11:29 AM

wonderful poetry

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