»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
Argument With The Reaper (Villanelle)
| Poetry Workshop |
|
Argument With The Reaper (Villanelle) |
|
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I ask again, why have chosen me? "Not for great sin, the choosing was random" My prayers were ignored by the entity! * " Your plead was heard clear, in eternity," "But the judgment, I cannot abandon" I ask again, why have you chosen me? * What of my children, have you no pity? "They act no role in the play of a dead one" My prayers were ignored by the entity! * "Walk with me, paths are gold in this city" "You will live pain-free, in this bright kingdom" I ask again, why have you chosen me? * You speak words of naive simplicity, My families goods, now, who will bring them? My prayers were ignored by the entity! * They will live in the grip of poverty, So I must leave this place you call heaven. I ask again, why have you chosen me? My prayers were ignored by the entity! |
||
| © Copyright 2003 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey ice... Glad to see your contributions here in the workshop. The villanelle is a pretty complex format. You've done a fine job with your repetitions and developing your theme. A suggestion I offer to you would be to work on your meter. I see no discernable meter on this piece, because you've combined iambics and trochaics - not only within your lines, but in your end rhymes as well... This is an interesting piece, ice..  Hoping to see lots more from you... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
