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Thought of you
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Thought of you |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands 
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I thought of you, in moonlight's silver glow This memory I drew out from the past A picture blurred and not framed neat at all But it's still mine and I think it will last It's been long time and you might not recall Those lovely moments, there were only few I was in love and think you might have been We were as pure as like new morning's dew I wonder now how you would look today We've aged in years and I forgot your name You kissed me when our teach was reading loud And I, back then, I felt just like a dame It didn't last, you left me in the cold You were seven, and I was six years old Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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| © Copyright 2003 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Awwww Titia, this is a lovely sonnet, I think. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Titia, Good to see you again. I guess I have been out o class too long. It is indeed a lovely sonnet. Your meter and rhyme are right on but I see a couple of places where you may have distorted natural English usage just a little. Understand though that I am still extremely impressed with your ability to write in English. My understanding of Duth is absolutely zero. In fact, I spent a lot of time in college studying German and can't speak it at all anymore, much less write poetry. Thanks, Pete |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey there, Titia - This is a wonderful verse - I have to agree with Pete about your writing in English. I could never do the same in your language... As for your sonnet - It's pretty darned good - You develop your theme nicely. You've taken some liberty with your rhyme scheme. Your rhyming lines are the second and fourth of each stanza, with the first and third unrhyming. That's not typical of sonnets, but the rest of your format fits in nicely. The only place I stumble on your meter is the last line. This part would be the hardest for me if I were writing in another language - How can you ever keep track of syllable enunciation? You do a phenomenal job, m'friend...  |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Ah Titia--this sonnet was just precious. I can't get the form right and I leave that to the folks who know. Want you to know that I enjoyed this tremendously and enjoyed the delightful final couplet. Shenachie |
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