Remembering (Is this a sonnet?)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Poetry Workshop

Remembering (Is this a sonnet?)

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

0 posted 2003-02-08 11:45 AM

Remembering
~ By Sue ~

As I sit here deep in thought
I think about before
That day when we first met
Our love was so sure

I gave my heart to you
Letting my feelings be known
Which were all so very true
Each day they had grown so strong

You were my everything
My reason for living then
Different ways we have gone
And I am remembering when

I had something to look forward to
Each day I was with you

2-8-03

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

1 posted 2003-02-08 01:06 PM

Hi Sue,

I haven't been in class for a while but I do peek in the door regularly. When I saw sonnet in your title, I had to look in to see what you had.

Now, to answer your question. Well, not exactly. I don't want to speak negatively of your efforts but just to make some suggestions to help you turn this into a good sonnet.

True, you do have the right number of lines and you have approximated the rhyme scheme of an Elizabethan sonnet. And also true that some modern poets and even critics would say that is more than enough to make it a sonnet. I have even seen free verse presented as a sonnet, if you can imagine that.

What will always be accepted as a sonnet not only has the required 14 lines but it also has several other requirements. The Elizabethan (or Shakespearean) sonnet, as you are close to here, is made up of 4 quatrains (4 lines stanzas) followed by a rhyming couplet. The rhyme scheme is abab, cdcd, efef, gg and the rhymes must be true. Near rhymes, if used, must be very, very good ones. I am sorry but some of yours fall short.

The traditionally accepted meter is iambic pentameter and many readers will simply not accept any deviations from that. I'm not that staunch but I do hold that any deviations must be very carefully done and must contribute to the effect rather than just be there for no apparent reason.

Finally, the first part, usually the first 8 lines, should set up a scene and the remainder should present a turn or a resolution. It is also acceptable for this turn to apear at the couplet. Yours is all right in this case.

When I first started writing what I wanted to call sonnets at the time, I made many of the same mistakes, near rhymes or weak rhymes and inconsistent meter. The denizens of Critical Analysis qhickly pointed out the error of my ways.

I think you have a good outline for a sonnet. I would suggest that you start with what you have and work on the rhymes and meter. I'm sure you can come up with a very good sonnet with just a little more work, following the guidelines above.

Thanks,
Pete

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.