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Let's do Cinquain!
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Let's do Cinquain! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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One wing... All that is left Where the dragonfly learned The lesson of dragons, lesson Of flies. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
OK - Let's do it - We haven't had a cinquain month in the Workshop - Let's do it for February... Sending a copy of this post over there... See ya in class...  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Fire away -- this sounds like fun! BTW, I posted another cinquain that I wrote just for you, over in Open Poetry......heh-heh-heh..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Hello Ratleader, welcome to the class of teach Nanniness, don't forget to bring her some apples, she likes them a lot. Teach Nanniness, I know I wasn't in class last month, too busy with the baaah baaah's Would you be so kind as to explain cinquain to me??? I'll try and be a good student this month, really....really....I won't even go out to play in the sandbox! Cinquain...I like the name but I don't know if I still like it after your explanation  Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Syllable count 2 4 6 8 2 |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
But the syllable count, just the number of beats, ain't the only thing that makes a Cinquain. Gack! Am I awful, or what? I'll be picking my nose next! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
so what else makes a good cinquain, Ratleader? oh, i love cinquains. will definitely participate this time round. you guys have been warned.. LOL on the dragonfly. got me thinking about firefly, butterfly, "time flies", housefly etc etc... |
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Fariegirl Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147 |
that is a good,poem. he flies softly through the air, his wings are slowly flapping, he gently lands on a tree, he spreds his wings, he is a beautiful butterfly. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Imagery. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Ratleader, Welcome to class. Not sure if I've got this quite right but... Haunting, melodic flute, follows suit, Hamelin we compute, by these notes we hear, is near. Doc |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yo, Moose -- you are definitely on the right track. If I were re-writing, I might make it end with ".....Hamelin/Is near." That puts the hook into it at the very end, which sort of appeals to my ear. Either way, there's no flies on this'un. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Ye know, the cinquain form is very young. It's got about a century under its belt, having been invented by a poet(ess) who had discovered Haiku and wanted to create a new short, count-driven form that would be as effective. She didn't succeed in all ways, but there are also ways in which the cinquain can be more effective. It's a very hard-hitting format. With a poem this short, the writing has to be lean and strong. Every word, every syllable should be directed toward a single end. You're saying one thing, and saying it strongly. The short lines almost force you to make bold, compact images (usually a good idea anyway!), and use them to build toward that big two-syllable ending. Yep, "big" is the word, even though it's tiny. That small size means it has to be the poem's climactic revelation. There are lots and lots of rules about how to make 'em, most started by teachers who were using the form to teach grammar, believe it or not. Things can get stilted in a hurry if you try to follow too many rules at once. I like flexibility -- just can't seem to color inside the lines -- so I ignore any of them that don't suit me at the moment. Except the count. That's crucial and can't change without becoming something else. What I try to do is, grab the reader's eye with the boldest picture I can put into that short title line, then fill out the image, show something happening that (hopefully) creates a feeling and builds toward the climax. I finish with either an image that draws the reader back to the beginning, or with something open-ended, that tries to lead the reader on toward something that's not stated. If I actually accomplish three-fourths of that, I figure I did ok. If I only get half, well, I own it so I can change it. That's the joy of tweaking. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you, Ratleader... I'm gonna need your help this month - You're more experienced at this format than I... Besides - It was your idea anyway... Don't go away now, hear???...  [This message has been edited by Nan (02-10-2003 07:29 AM).] |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Go ahead, try to DRIVE me away.... I dare ya! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Ratleader, Thanks for the reply. You're right, actually I had written it that way first, then changed it to seperate the rhyming, but, it does read better the first way. Doc |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I'm surprised SEA isn't all over this. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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