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SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

0 posted 2002-10-25 10:00 AM


Pain

So much pain I feel
Each time I cough my ribs do hurt
I try not to cough
I get up and move around
So I do not get too stiff

10-25-02



© Copyright 2002 Sue Graves - All Rights Reserved
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
1 posted 2002-10-25 09:05 PM



Sue, that's a 'painful' tanka dear, hope those ribs will heal quickly.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Tammy Blessing
Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 366
PA
2 posted 2002-10-28 09:40 PM


Painful tanka here Sue! Only one quick comment. I think you need to take out the "do" in the second line to make it 7 syllables. Hope this was fiction. If not, break out the cough medicine and GET BETTER!
Tammy

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
3 posted 2002-10-29 06:27 AM


No Tammy, this is not fiction. I was thrown off of a Belguin horse. So the pain is real.
I see now that I do have one too many syllables in the second line. I guess the pain medicine is affecting my eyes.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
4 posted 2002-10-29 06:29 AM


Thank you Titia for the well wishes.
Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
5 posted 2002-10-29 10:35 AM


Get well soon!  Sorry to hear that you were hurt and I'm wishing you a rapid recovery!

Shenachie

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2002-11-11 06:47 PM


OUCH - You can turn so many everyday things into poems, Sue -

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