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And you Laugh |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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One more shovel full... and you still don't understand For a moment... you give reprieve And I... begin my struggle to dig free Sometimes I even see the light But then... as quickly as it came returns the darkness Reality hits as a muddy slap across a tear-stained cheek And I... once again buried... this time deeper One more shovel full and you laugh as you plant flowers just above my head... My tears supply the moisture by which they grow Occasionally you offer a single blossom yet hold it tauntingly out of my grasp I reach... stretch... and reach again.... and still I just can't seem to reach you... ~vlraynes Well, I wrote a new free-verse poem. I posted it in Open, but I thought I'd go ahead and post it in here too, since I had only posted the old one for this month's assignment. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes |
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| © Copyright 2002 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I saw this one in Open, Vicky, and I really liked it... You dealt with the subject in a very unique manner... and I liked the formatting also.  ~ grinning hugsLyra |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
This is the most amazing and unusual imagery for describing distance in a relationship. I found myself holding my breath and had to remind myself to breathe. Shenachie |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Your title gives a very different predisposition to your poem from the theme your reader meets within your verse. You've a very diversified talent, Vicky. You're a fantastic humorist and equally gifted at delivering a strong, serious, metaphorical message. This is a great poem, m'friend. Your extended metaphor takes it to an entirely new plane...  |
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