navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » They Only Sing at Sea
Poetry Workshop
Post A Reply Post New Topic They Only Sing at Sea Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-08-17 08:50 AM


They Only Sing at Sea



The white curved carving
streak of light on boomerang wings
suspended by great Gulf winds

snow-brightening Kansas scenery
to feed on wheat, milo, oats
child’s trill in thrill to see them white

and where, oh where, the boats?

Where be the waves
to float upon
where is the sand, and surf?

Why do they fly so far
inland
bringing scent of sea
to this dry, dry earth…

clap of hands, wave upon wave
the curved carved wing
of seagulls, brave

to begin the miles
from where they’ve roamed
they only sing you know
when the sea,
the sea,
calls them home.

© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
1 posted 2002-08-17 10:58 AM


Karilea...
I love the alliteration and assonance in this one...
It adds so much to the lovely thoughts which you express so well here...

I didn't know that there were seagulls in Kansas...
they really do travel, don't they.
~ chipmunk hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2002-08-17 12:55 PM


Karilea~
A lovely sing of wing~
Nicely done~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
3 posted 2002-08-19 12:38 PM


I always wondered what they were doing in Oklahoma, so far from the sea. I guess they make it to Kansas too, huh? Sounds like you have the answer hidden in there. The wind blowing the wheat must look like ocean waves from the air.

Nicely done. I only have one little nit to pick, "Where be the waves" just doesn't fit the rest of the poem. I suggest where are instead of where be.

Thanks,
Pete

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-08-19 01:32 PM


Yep, you rock. Not much of a critique, I know, but there's none to give!
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2002-08-19 01:43 PM


Get out really?  They aren't noisy?  And how the heck did they get THAT lost?  Not only do I learn poetry but strange true facts in this wonderful place.  Now of course I wonder are they the scrawny ones like I saw on the east coast and down on the gulf, or our big fat guys from the west?  I guess they are like people and come in all varities?  Lovely poem to start my day off with.  Yes, just what I need MORE seagulls   Kidding.

The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.  
Sharon


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-19-2002 01:45 PM).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2002-08-23 06:24 AM


This is great stuff...

and I think I agree with the thought of
"where are the waves", only because, the rest of the poem writes in modern style and "where be the waves" sound archaic...

but Karilea, you have another winner is this one...

really liking it...

regards,
sudhir

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
7 posted 2002-08-28 03:21 AM


Such wonderful descriptive imagery!  You have me watching for seagulls in Kansas now.
Enjoyed the read...

Shenachie

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2002-08-28 06:52 AM



Thanks for your comments, everyone!  Much appreciated!

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
9 posted 2002-08-28 09:46 AM


Karilea,
What a delightful write. Sharon...they are the fat ones.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
10 posted 2002-08-29 06:51 PM


Sunshine,
This is great, I really liked your descriptive phrasing " boomerang ", it instantly re-created the image of gulls in flight.Thanks.
Doc

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 2002-09-01 11:14 PM


LOL - We have fat ones too, but those are the greedy ones who hang out at the local land fill...

This is wonderful, Karilea - Your imagery is great and you paint a lovely picture with your words... I didn't know they could get so lost either...

They really DO sing a sea song or two...

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » They Only Sing at Sea

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary