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August Exercise... free as a verse (or is it worse?)
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August Exercise... free as a verse (or is it worse?) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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are there rules to follow to fall in Love -- then to fall out to live a life make life alive if there are rules, who makes them who decides and do they follow their own or do they make their ‘new’ paths (most of my days and most of my nights are spent debating with light and shadows if only to figure out what makes some tick and what ticks the rest and that sometimes ticks me off like seconds flying into minutes like big bad jets diving into wide clouds bursting through my space at their phenomenal pace leving me behind to play 'catch-up') and if there are rules and if there are those who make them I wonder which tree they sit upon and how tall do they sit above the ground if only to gauge what makes them make me feel so small in their book of rules in their pages of life metered and rhymed as I sing in the sounds of almost like an also-ran in the race just to make up the numbers and to annoy... I wonder where they hang about and where do they drink their water from Even free verse is not so free anymore maybe odd ones are not entirely tied (maybe I am drinking the wrong water)  |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Hello Sudhir Iyer! Enjoyed your poem. This is a work of very well-expressed angst. I find myself wondering if I'm breaking some rule, especially if I'm enjoying myself. I just live with the consequences. What other recourse is there? I think that I would prefer a glass of wine. You see that your poem was very thought provoking. Your imagery is superb. Shenachie [This message has been edited by Bridget Shenachie (08-06-2002 11:42 PM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you Shenachie, for coming by and for your very appreciative words... Regards, Sudhir P.S. A glass of wine each day is considered healthy but just one  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Sudhir, Haven't seen you around much lately. Where ya been? This really reads nice. The words just seem to fall off the tongue. It's sort of like an enjoyable rant, if you know what I mean. I really liked it. Thanks, Pete |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
I think it's just plain beautiful, period. You've done well Sudhir, now come out to play in the sandbox with me, Marge and Doc Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I have to admit......being in the same classroom with you for a lesson in free-verse makes me feel a bit like the class dummy. You must be the assistant teacher right? There is nothing I can say about your poem to help you get better because I don't see where you ever needed improvement. You sir are a classic waiting for the print to come your way. Very much enjoyed this piece as I do all of yours. Water??????? I think not.......I do believe you drink of the finest of wines (red "good for the heart"). I bow to you as I reach for the dunce cap. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ '(most of my days and most of my nights are spent debating with light and shadows if only to figure out what makes some tick and what ticks the rest and that sometimes ticks me off' Priceless !!! Wonderful chalk on the board~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
This is very lovely sir!! wonderful images, I enjoyed this...  Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Pete, thanks a lot, my friend, for coming by and letting me know you liked Titia, thanks a lot... where is the sandbox? Mark, you are not a dummy... My friend, your support of my writing has been tremendous and uplifting... thanks a lot Marge, you are priceless... thanks Lauren, thanks very much... Regards to all, sudhir |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like your theme, Sudhir... Who's making the rules, anyway? Why should we follow them? What's the benefit for us? I also like your flow of syntax - You go from one thought to the next with the twist of a word - but still maintain your theme... Nicely done.. You ask some good metaphorical questions, m'friend... and - perhaps with the world in such chaos, this is a good time for such questions... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Thanks for sharing this with us, Sudhir... I completely agree with you... and the hard thing to get used to about free verse is the supposed lack of rules... As I write, I keep thinking that I must be violating one somewhere... Hey...it was a great poem...  ~ hugs from an unruly chipmunkLyra |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you very much, Nancy and Lyra... I tried Regards, Sudhir |
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