Fourth Attempt at Iambic Meter

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Fourth Attempt at Iambic Meter

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

0 posted 2002-06-29 01:52 PM

This Meter
When will I get this meter right
I work at it all through the night
I can’t even get me no sleep
When studying so hard and deep
I work and work all the day long
In order to get meter strong
It seems so hard for me to do
The words I say repeatedly
I want to get it to a tee

By Sue 6-29-02

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 2002-06-29 07:16 PM

This is much better than #3. Only a few corrections here...

i CAN'T EV-en GET me no SLEEP....can't + ev- are both stressed syllables...can't be together. me+no are both unstressed....can't be together. How about...

There's NO way I can GET some SLEEP.

iWORK and WORK ALL the day LONG...2 stressed together and 2 unstressed together. How about...

i WORK and WORK the WHOLE day LONG.

Do you see how the accented syllables must be spaced?

"It seems so hard for me to do" has no second rhyming line for the couplet.

Hey, I won't get tired if you don't! You WILL learn it!!!!!

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

2 posted 2002-06-29 07:44 PM

Sue I so admire you for hanging in there and trying and trying. Seems to me, that number 4 was pretty good. But then, what the heck do I know; I can't do it either! ;-)
Hugs, Marti

" My wrinkles are badges of courage and reveal that I am a Mother."

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

3 posted 2002-06-29 09:33 PM

Ok Balladeer! I will go do it again.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2002-06-30 01:38 AM

Sue ... you are doing great! You've got a marvelous teacher there in Balladeer ... excellent suggestions Michael. Way to go Sue!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 2002-07-04 08:44 PM

You are one DETERMINED lady... You go, girl..

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