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Shadows That We Cast II (pantoum)
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Shadows That We Cast II (pantoum) |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Ok, I worked really hard and tried to do it right this time. So can I get out of the corner now? Please, please? I'll just go sit quietly at my desk  Shadows That We Cast II (Or the '60s) And all that's left is shadows that we cast Of self-indulgent goals we always sought, A faded reminiscence of the past. And what's the worth of independent thought, Of self-indulgent goals we always sought To earn our fortune, yes and even fame? And what's the worth of independent thought Yet worthless in the making of a name; To earn our fortune, yes and even fame, As prophets and as poets of the word, Yet worthless in the making of a name For non-conforming innocents who heard; As prophets and as poets of the word, As players on a stage of little note For non-conforming innocents who heard The trifling things we said and what we wrote? As players on a stage of little note The righteous non-conformists still performed The trifling things we said and what we wrote To isolate ourselves as we conformed. The righteous non-conformists still performed A faded reminiscence of the past To isolate ourselves as we conformed, And all that's left is shadows that we cast. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You may not only come out from the corner, but I have some cold milk and warm cookies straight from the oven...you deserve them! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Aww, gee  |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
The theme came through in your pantoum also. Great work! Can't wait to see the grade you get for this one. I think that you just went to the head of the class. Shenachie |
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Casidy Junior Member
since 2002-01-27
Posts 36The Heart of Texas |
I like this one... it works very nicely as a compliment to the other shadows poem... |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Thanks all. I guess maybe it wasn't as hard as I first thought. But even having the sestina to as a source, I think the pantoum was harder, for me anyway. Thanks, Pete |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
What is hardest for me is keeping the theme...strong. Well done Pete...I don't think there is a style you can't tackle... |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
 great pantoumTitia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Flame, thank you much. And you are exactly right, of course. I should have said that. As Nan pointed out in the intro to this class, the theme is all important. Maintaining that theme while properly following the pattern was really tough. Thanks Titia  Pete [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (03-29-2002 11:00 PM).] |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Pete, I really like what you've done here. The phrasing you've used seems to shift subtly enough so that the repitition becomes secondary to the overall theme (if that makes any sense).Well done. Doc |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Makes perfect sense Doc. I suppose that may mean we are both a little strange  Pete |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
OK - You're out of the corner for the moment... But... Stay tuned for more punishment...  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Thanks Teach. And I promise to be very, very good from now on Really.Pete |
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