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Will you remember me - sonnet
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Will you remember me - sonnet |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands 
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Ha ha, just heard the computer with all the sheeps database crashed (not mine). Not funny al all really, but it will leave me some time to write for a while. So I did tonight. I do love sonnets and I'll keep trying till I get them right. So...shoot (not me I beg you) Remember all the things I've ever done And tell along the stories you've been told The stories of my life, which have long gone Cause they are worth to someone, I am sure The life I lived, I did not live in vain Go tell them, how I loved my roses pure In early mist, with little drops of rain And when I'm gone, don't grieve too much my dear For I was happy in so many ways So keep the humor, that I loved to hear Cause with the humor, also laughter stays Though my life has reached almost september I won't be old, 'til I pass december A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Want to use the pics on my website? Just send me a mail and I'll give you the link. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Hey! This is pretty cool! I see some minor little thingies, but I'll have to get back to you tomorrow. It's late, late, late over here as you know, but I've been working on my sonnet too, so I have an excuse.  |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Hi Munda, yes always late overhere. When reading it again, I decided to change the last two lines. Before: "Though my life reaches september, I'm not old yet, not until december" I just stumbled over the words myself. I think it's flowing better now. Please give me any advice if things are not quite right yet. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Want to use the pics on my website? Just send me a mail and I'll give you the link. [This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (01-21-2002 08:26 PM).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Hi Titia. I see you made some adjustments while I was working on this reply. LOL Trying to keep me busy uh? Just kidding! I went over your sonnet and only had a little difficulty with the meter in the last 2 lines. Also I noticed your question in Open and tried to solve that too. Furthermore I made some minor adjustments, but please never feel you should take any of my suggestions. After all... it's your sonnet and you did great!  Will you remember me, when I am old Remember all the things I've ever done And tell along the stories you've been told The stories of my life, which have long gone Because they're valuable to some, I'm sure The life I lived, I did not live in vain Do tell them, how I loved my roses pure In early mist, with little drops of rain And when I'm gone, don't grieve too much my dear For I was happy in so many ways Please keep the humor, that I loved to hear Because with humor, laughter also stays Although my life has reached September's dawn I won't be old, until December's gone Munda [This message has been edited by Munda (01-22-2002 04:58 PM).] |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Hey WOW that's great, thank you so much. I did struggle a bit with the last two lines, cause my English is still not what it should be. Thanks again for taken the time. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Titia, You are doing a whole lot better than me! I'm not sure I'm really getting how to write a sonnet yet! This is really good, got any tips for a student that doesn't understand? Cindi |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey again, I found this one too in CA and tried to give you my best efforts there. You really are coming along very well. I think your command of English is outstanding. I remember studying German in school and actually got fairly good at it as I hoped to attend graduate school in Germany. Well that didn't work out and I have since lost nearly all of it. So I do envy your ability to speak a second language so well. Thanks, Pete |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
OK.. Munda rides again... She found the meter malady and fixed it up...  This is great, Titia - You've really made some GIANT strides here... I'm duly impressed... Next time bring a warm wooly sweater from your sheeps's hair, along with the apples, of course - OK???..  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Titia~ I WILL remember YOU~ And these lovely pennings are only the beginning~ You are remarkable~ Such a gift you have~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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