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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2002-01-11 11:02 PM


Behold that which is rarified now seen
as common as a simple blade of grass
once stripped from lush surrounding fields of green
raised close before a contemplative eye

A Lilliputian blade to wield in awe
against dread nemesis the hands of time
un-sheathed and held in readiness to draw
a sigh of pure contentment long and slow

Recline and feel the sun upon your face
O' soldier of this lazy after-noon
your battle with the clock has taken place
and you've emerged victorious for now

As spoils of war stretch end-lessly it seems
transformed are thoughts of battle into dreams


© Copyright 2002 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2002-01-12 01:12 AM


This is the one I will study...I'm going to figure this sonnet thing out if it kills me.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2002-01-12 05:41 PM


Perfection, Doc!

I like to think that we don't get older, we just get better....so I must be approaching fantastic.....hehe

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
3 posted 2002-01-12 06:52 PM



Beautiful Doc

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Want to use the pics on my website? Just send me a mail and I'll give you the link.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2002-01-13 09:17 AM


There ya go again, Doc... Influencing the new guys.. Teaching them how to write in perfect meter - and how to bend the rhyme-scheme rules to suit your needs... Whatever am I gonna do with you?

This is a great piece... as usual..

Duncan - Remember the formal rhyme schemes..

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
5 posted 2002-01-13 10:43 PM


Never seen this rhyme scheme before....what is it? A Doctorian sonnet? lol

God bless America, my home sweet home.

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
6 posted 2002-01-14 11:49 AM


Hey Doc,

Again, a really enjoyable read. I guess you bent the rules a bit with the rhyme scheme, enough to raise the question, is it still a proper sonnet. But it did hit home anyway and I liked it.

Thanks,
Pete

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
7 posted 2002-01-18 06:14 AM


Duncan,
My apologies if I've made a confusing subject more confusing., that was not my intent. But hey, "Teach' did it first.
Doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
8 posted 2002-01-18 06:19 AM


Denise,
Oh, I think you're well past fantastic, and at such an early age too! But, I'm afraid I mave have taken a few liberties with the rhyme scheme on this. Thanks
Doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
9 posted 2002-01-18 06:22 AM


Titia,
Thank you.But, as Nan pointed out, just cause it looks like a sonnet, and sounds somewhat like a sonnet,don't make it a sonnet.
Doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
10 posted 2002-01-18 06:25 AM


Nan,
Caught me again. Oh well, guess I'll just call it a poem and leave it at that. Thanks,
and I'm glad you liked it.
Doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
11 posted 2002-01-18 06:28 AM


Elizabeth,
Thank you for your suggestion.I don't think
world is quite ready for me to have my own format, but it was certainly a nice compliment.
Doc

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
12 posted 2002-01-18 06:31 AM


Pete,
Thank you,I guess the official ruling is in .
Nope. But it was an interesting write, and judging from the replies, not a bad read.
Doc

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