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LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697


0 posted 2001-02-12 10:38 PM


I'm not sure if I did this right or not, but here goes...

Life is like a twisted path
Throughout the narrow wood
I found myself alone one time
In cold and dark I stood

I found that I had lost the trail
That I had tread before
I ran, and caught my legs upon
The weeded forest floor

Oh weeds! Thy thorns are evil swards
That cut into my being
They cut the heart that loved before
The evil that it?s seeing

I tumbled as the stubborn weeds
Clung to the flesh of mine
Struggling, fighting to get away
From this terror I had to find

The night was growing darker
As my hope began to die
I was tired of fighting, and
I could only sit and cry

And then, alas! I saw a light
Peeking through the wood
I free myself from the thorny weeds
Though I never thought I could

I stumble through the rocky wood
I stumble towards the light
Longing to feel some kind of warmth
Longing to escape the night

I finally reach the magic light
And the only thing that grows
In this quite barren clearing
Is a single reddish rose

I?m wounded from the weeds I fought
My hands are bathed in red
As I reach for this single blossom
I fear I?ll soon be dead

But alas! As I touch the beautiful bloom
That seems to be sent from above
It heals my hands and makes me whole
What else could it be but love?

Love blooms in the strangest places
Often far off the trail
As long as you can touch it, though
There is no way you can fail

You may have to put up a fight for it
There?s much pain you will feel
But there is no such thing as a wound
That true love can not heal!

So when you are lost in the darkness
And the cold winds ?round you blow
Just keep you eyes out for a light
And for a single reddish rose




"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

© Copyright 2001 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2001-02-13 07:18 AM


Oh! Love Bug! what wonderful imagery you have in this, and yes! you did get it right.
This one's a keeper for me.
write on
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
2 posted 2001-02-13 06:41 PM


LoveBug,
I'm getting an image of something sixty-ish ,
"Flower Power" . Well done.
Doc

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
3 posted 2001-02-13 07:38 PM


Did you do this right? Oh, indeed! This is wonderful. I especially love the first two stanzas. My favorite poet couldn't have written it better.


Gene
(formerly, u_gene)

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
4 posted 2001-02-14 09:39 AM


LoveBug this is great! You used great imagery and I truly like it all the way to the end. Way ti go!
Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
5 posted 2001-02-14 02:43 PM


"Love blooms in the strangest places"

So true. You never know when the "love bug" is gonna bite do you? LOL!
I think you wrote this perfect!

Debbie

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

6 posted 2001-02-14 04:35 PM


Thank you all for your wonderful comments, although I do wonder who Gene's favorite poet is!

I wish I could have been around for the '60s, friend Moose!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
7 posted 2001-02-14 08:34 PM


I like this! The imagery is very well done.

Maybe Gene's favorite is Robert Burns? You know, A Red, Red Rose.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2001-02-19 07:34 PM


LoveBug~
Yes !

'Love blooms in the strangest places
Often far off the trail
As long as you can touch it, though
There is no way you can fail'


Conjured up images of many a love,
found when we don't even know we're looking.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
9 posted 2001-02-21 02:03 AM


Just right LoveBug.. ^_^ Such is love..
One thing tho, you wrote "But alas" .. I always thought that was kind of an exclamation of dismay.. but you are dismayed at love? Nah.. ^^ Well, maybe I am wrong, and have just never used it any other place.. Sorry! ^^ Just wondering..
A thoroughly enjoyable read.. very beautiful, and I see why you are the LoveBug now.. ^^



Luv,
Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
10 posted 2001-02-26 08:56 PM


I see a well developed poem here which has a consistent rhyme scheme and meter... along with some pretty good imagery... and all about the "single reddish rose of love"....
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