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To Meet The Child I Gave Away
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To Meet The Child I Gave Away |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
This pantoum was written for a dear friend of mine. It's obvious what it's about, but I am not quite satisfied with it. Suggestions would be more than welcome. To Meet The child I Gave Away To meet the child I gave away My daughter I have never seen To hold you once I daily pray No answers to what could have been My daughter I have never seen Was your life filled with love thus far? No answers to what could have been To let you go has left a scar Was your life filled with love thus far? I'd die to hear your lovely voice To let you go has left a scar To give you up was not my choice I'd die to hear your lovely voice Embrace you with this mother's heart To give you up was not my choice There is no cure for utter smart Embrace you with this mother's heart You're in my heart, my soul, each day Is there a cure for utter smart? Live long enough to see that day You're in my heart, my soul, each day To hold you once I daily pray Live long enough to see the day To meet the child I gave away Munda |
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| © Copyright 2000 Munda - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Munda, Perhaps " no cure will heal what's cut apart" Just a thought . Doc |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Well thank you Doc. I really love that line a lot more.  Now I have to figure out how I can use it too in the fith stanza LOL Thank you.  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I am so taken by the subject matter, I can't think of any way to improve it. This just cut me to the core. What your friend is feeling is so beautifully expressed.I was separated from my first born for a year (due to overseas laws) and struggled to get him back, so I know the terrible emptiness. Liz [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 12-17-2000).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
It saddens me to learn you had to go through this Liz, but I'm happy you got reunited. Thank you for reading and replying. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You've taken a VERY intensely emotional theme here and done a nice job with it, Munda - I've done some editing, as you asked - and emailed it to you... |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Nan you did a great job editing. It has improved a lot and expresses the "feeling" a lot better. I decided I will steal everything you changed. LOL Curious guys? Here it is: To Meet My Child Given Away To meet my child given away My daughter I have never seen To hold you once I daily pray No changing now what might have been My daughter I have never seen To give you up was not my choice No changing now what might have been My wish to hear your lovely voice To give you up was not my choice Letting you go has left me scarred My wish to hear your lovely voice To know that you've been loved thus far Letting you go has left me scarred I yearn to live to see the day To know that you've been loved thus far There truly was no other way I yearn to live to see the day Embracing you with mother's heart There truly was no other way My deepest soul, you are a part Embracing you with mother's heart To hold you once I daily pray My deepest soul, you are a part To meet my child given away Thanks Nan. What's next teacher?  Oh and since it is 2001 in my part of the world... Happy New Year to you all !  |
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