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To Sleep , Perchance To Paradelle?
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To Sleep , Perchance To Paradelle? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
An onerous task this paradelle An onerous task this paradelle To dwell within such evil spell To dwell within such evil spell An onerous evil paradelle Such task to dwell within this spell Composed of tortured twist and turn Composed of tortured twist and turn Each line into the page is burned Each line into the page is burned Twist of line composed is burned And each into the tortured turn I full intend to comprehend I full intend to comprehend That which such madness does portend That which such madness does portend Such madness full to comprehend Intend I that which does portend The paradelle to comprehend Composed of tortured twist and turn To dwell within such evil spell A onerous task on page is burned Each line which madness does portend To this I full such that intend |
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| © Copyright 2000 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh..."mama told me not to come..." LOL... okay, okay...I'm working on it...it is tricky, indeed...a whole new way of thinking to me...(surprise) Anyhow...enjoyed muchly, Dr. Moose 1, and now I retire to chew on me pencil some more... |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Me too, still trying to make my mind work in a new way... |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
I just wanted you to know that I am in awe! This is so fabulous, I must have read it a half a dozen times! and by the way it's exactly how I feel about writing this type of poem. Madness,sheer madness! |
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jlocke Member
since 2000-09-10
Posts 169CC,TX |
This paradelle thing, man it looks hard.  What sadistic mind came up with this torture?  I would consider myself mad to even try.  Oh, if I only had your talent.  |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Dr.Moose, oh, you clever devil... this is so awfully good. I can't get over how well you expanded the subject in EVERY line. I've love to see more. ~ Beth |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Well now , I had no idea these paradelle thingies would be so popular or I might have tried one sooner .(But I couldn't have because I'd never heard of them before Nan's October class started )oh well , on to the replys... serenity, You're right , it does take a little twisting of the ol' thought processes ( which in my case makes it easier as mine are pre-twisted )Thanks. Debbie, Linear thought does have it's advantages for most endeavors ,( this is not one of them ). Thank you for your kind words. jlocke, In my case talent( or lack of ) may have more to do with sheer bull-headed persistence than anything else , but thanks , I'm glad you enjoyed . Elizabeth, Clever? I don't know about that. Our minds all work in slightly different ways , abstracts and tangents are perhaps easier for me . Thanks for commenting . Doc |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Doc~ My goodness ... is this right up your alley, or what ? Geez ... you are VERY VERY good at this form. I guess I need to look at it differently. I did one once on a bet/dare ... and found it a bit boring. Guess my 'free-spirited' mind needs more discipline. Gotta think along your pre-twisted lines ... LOVE that thought !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
THis is a great one! I loved it! Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I really like your attitude, Doc... Oh - critique? - You're missing the word "page" from your closing couplet in the second stanza... and like Beth, you've got one word too many in the final stanza... Dunno which one it is, but your word count is 11+13+11=35, and you've got 36 words there... Don't worry - I still love it - It's written in the true masochistic spirit of the paradelle...  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Nan , You are correct on both counts ( of course ), Don't know how I could have missed such obviously flagrant violations of the "paradellic code ". I am truly crushed, and now will have to self flagellate while reciting obscure forms of poetry in pidgin English . But I must say it's pretty sneaky that there is a 24 hour clock on editing . Now that I am aware of that , I will try to see that it never happens again .(returning to seat in shame ) Doc |
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