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Italian Sonnet - (for jbouder)
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Italian Sonnet - (for jbouder) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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I looked up Italian sonnet on the net, so I'm not sure if this is correct. I'm sorry to submit this assignment too early, but I can no longer participate after today. Since Jim seemed so sure that the novices couldn't handle the more difficult Italian sonnet, I dedicate this to him, and if it is correct, I may even gloat a little. Stages of Life My winter window sets a stage of gray The field and woods still bleak of leafless stalk A blackbird venerates the turf of hawk And I bow to the sorrow of my day The black and white of grief is on display In battered stems of corn's bent, broken stalk These splinters of life’s sheaf ’gainst snowy chalk Still brandish weary tones of winter’s day I leave the hearth when spring comes into view As time allows the sun to warm my face And melt the woe of seasons sadly spent Life blossoms forth in velvet petaled hue Of dogwood’s pink and redbud’s purple lace And yellowness of buttercup’s content Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 05-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Did someone say "novice?"  This is awesome, Liz.  ~Gene |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Gosh, Thanks Gene, Question is,.... is it right? Liz |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
It's 99.999 % perfect! The rhyming pattern and meter are correct, but the only thing I would question, is the word 'cornstalk.' Seems like the accent should be on corn. ~Gene |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Oh, btw, Liz, I'm sure Nan will be by soon to explain everything to everyone, but I know you're in a hurry, so I'll add this information for you: Take a look here: www.netpoets.com/pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html Nan did a great job of explaining the different styles of sonnets for an earlier workshop. ~Gene |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Gene, OK, I corrected it, but now I've used the word Stalk twice. I'll have to change something here Thanks for your help, Gene Liz |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Italian sonnet? Well, this is the first one I ever saw! You are a wow poet, Liz! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Lovely, Liz, and done so well (in form). For never having done one, this is truly a wonderful piece of work. I applaud you. (clap! clap! clap!) warmhrt the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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pandora Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184 |
Liz, this is really beautiful! you've done a great job with this! Lots of really fine lines in here... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Lizzie, Warmhrt, Pandora. Thank you all for your lovely comments Liz |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
quote: Liz, I don't see any problem with repeating the words. Shakespeare did it all the time. ~Gene |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
If I were you, Elizabeth, I'd start gloating - not a little, though - Do it in style... GLOATYour format is perfect, of course - I'd expect nothing less from you... What I really do like about this piece is that you've taken the concept of aging and given it a rebirth. quote: It ain' over till it's over... Nice job, Elizabeth - I really, really like it..  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Nan, Now I am gloating even more, since you interpreted this verse in a different way than my intentions. That can only mean that it is full of imagery, which I am only now learning to use. What this meant to me was a period of grief, no matter what the age. And with time the stages of sorrow only lead back to happier days again. The black and white and gray is sorrow and the colors are sorrow's end. The winter and then the spring, from broken stalks and weary tones to yellowness and contentment. I also like your interpretation. Thanks for the GLOAT Liz |
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