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Shakespearean Sonnet - (for jbouder)
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Shakespearean Sonnet - (for jbouder) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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I apologize for handing in this asignment too early. I will be out of commission for a while, so I'm submitting two sonnets which I wrote this morning. I know you didn't want Shakespearean, but when Jim suggested the newcomers might choose the easier format, I went for it. Then I decided to write an Italian sonnet for him. Gloating at Life Whenever I emerge from pits of strife I wallow in the glory of my win And tend to gloat in jubilance at Life To think that I subdued the likes of him It seems while I’m still basking in the glow He moves the painful pole up one more notch As Life decides to deal another blow And settles back triumphantly to watch I vow to wage more vigorous a war Determined to outdo my callous foe Buoyed up by battle scars I’d earned before I muster all the strength God may bestow Sometimes I have to grant Life victory He flouts in gloating smirks right back at me Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 05-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Liz, This is beautiful. Except, I think the rhyming pattern for Shakespear sonnet is: a-b-a-b-c-d-c-d-e-f-e-f-g-g The only other thing I noticed was that the meter in line two is off, but aside from that, this is still an absolutely wonderful poem. BTW, what do you mean writing it for Jim? What am I--chopped liver?  LOL This is so good--it's for everyone!  ~Gene |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Oh, you're right, what was I thinking???? I just started writing and kept going. I'll have to rewrite this without slaughtering it too much. Thank you Gene! You may have saved this in time Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Gene, I think the problem is fixed. I'm not sure about the word "victorious". How many syllables. This is where I run into trouble with iambic pentameter, especially when dipthongs are involved. Thanks again, Gene Liz |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Your amazing. I don't know how you could switch rhyming patterns so quickly--from a-a-b-b/c-c-d-d to a-b-a-b/c-d-c-d. The only thing is the meter in line 3. Victoriously is 5 syllables. ---- BTW, you could have left it the way it was. How about creating your own "Lizabethan" sonnet? ~Gene [This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 05-03-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I would, Gene, but Nan is traditional, and it wouldn't fly well in this class. To answer your question, I do write very fast. My work would be better if I would take more time. I'm sure as heck slow at everything else! BTW, you are not chopped liver. It's just that when someone inadvertantly presents me with a challenge, I try to do it. |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
"chopped liver" LOL I was joking, Liz |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Crikey you're fast! I am still waiting on Nan's instructions....I don't know sonnet form from a bar of soap. Not true actually....I did learn it for English, yeah that's it-forgotten! This is great btw. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
Elizabeth this was great... though I'm with ESP on this one have no idea to the proper form of a sonnet and awaiting further instruction from Nan Mystical being which makes ink flow Surround me in your incandescent glow Fill my brain with thoughts and rhyme As I try to capture but a moment in time ~Shan~ |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
See - You people don't need me here... I give you a few days to comment on each other's work, and you get everything in line without me...  ...Elizabeth, this is wonderful... You've written, rewritten, and revised to a tee... I know you've gone another round since writing this, my friend - So, now more than ever - Hearken to thine own words... And settles back triumphantly to watch I vow to wage more vigorous a war Determined to outdo my callous foe [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 05-11-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Lizzie, and Starrgazer. I also had no idea what a sonnet was until enrolling in the Passions School of Poetry. Thanks for your comments Liz Nan, Looks like Life moved the pole up several notches on me this time, but I've had lots of practice and will win out in the end. Some day I will gloat Thanks Liz |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Elizabeth: Sorry so late to this, Elizabeth. Real life has been a little crazy for me lately and I have been neglecting my online duties. Thanks for the "for jbouder" thing, btw. I'm flattered. I read this some time ago and re-read it tonight and couldn't help but to marvel at the effortless way you use your word combinations (excellent word choices, by the way). Great work. Jim [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 05-18-2000).] |
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