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The Searching of the Stone (Extended Metaphor #2)
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The Searching of the Stone (Extended Metaphor #2) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563
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This is a repost of my very first post on the forum. Since it is an extended metaphor, and one of my favorite pieces, I thought I'd share it. she walks along lonely, empty beaches, head down, curtained by a falling of yellow hair, tired, dark eyes in continuous movement, desperately searching the sand untouched by her naked feet. the filmy, white gauze of her dress reveals the swell of her breast, behind which lies a hollow, birthplace of relentless aching, an unseen force, pushing her onward. each new step leaves a bit of sand behind her, as she seeks the flawless stone, polished so very smooth by great rolling waves, and exchanges with lesser stones, then tossed forward by the tides. its unrivaled hues relect the afternoon's rays, so dazzling, inviting... she knows it lies in wait for her, and she is nearly within sight of its unrivaled glory. A seabird dives, swooping from above, takes the stone into it's beak, and rises in flight across the sea, away, and beyond the horizon, where the stone falls into the deepest of the deep blue. her searching will persist, unceasing, but will now forever yield only masquerades of what she seeks. Kristine < !signature--> the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kris: I remember this one. Thanks for bringing it back to our attention. I can't remember what I said when I commented on it originally but I am sure I gave you a favorable critique. Good job, Grasshoppa. *Jim slips Kris a note, requesting an alliance and suggesting some great, new pranks* Jim |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Kris....this is....this is....awesome ! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Kris, I had to read this one three times to really appreciate it. I guess her stone could be almost any self-set goal. It's too bad it was jerked away just at the last second. Sounds too much like the irony of life. The stanza which really caught my eye on first, and even second reading, was "the filmy, white gauze of her dress reveals the swell of her breast, behind which lies a hollow, birthplace of relentless aching, an unseen force, pushing her onward." Not only beautiful words but a pretty steamy image too  I wonder about the title though (at least the title of the post). Should it be "Searching" instead of "Seatching"? Nice job, as always. Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jim, If I remember right, you gave me a couple of good suggestions, as usual, teach, and I used them, too. Thanx. *Kris hands the note back to Jim. He reads, "Allies we stand, divided you fall. So what should we do next?" Munda, Thank you for such an AWESOME comment! I sincerely appreciate it. Pete, I thank you for being such an eagle-eye. I don't know what is the matter with me lately...making so many mistakes. In the first line of the intro, I also spelled is:"ia". I'm usually such an eagle-eye myself at catching these things...lately, though, you've been doing the job for me. I'm a bad and very slow typist (ask Jim), but a good proof-reader and editor, usually. And Pete...that was not intended to be "steamy"...only descriptive. It's that car fever you men have that makes you think that way. *You better get that cigarette or whatever it is out of here before Nan sees it, and kicks you out of class.* Thanks for your kind words, Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like this piece a lot, Kris... after all - what better place to meander, contemplating the direction of our lives - than strolling along the seaside - listening to the rhythmic tide - feeling the sand beneath your feet - smelling and tasting the salt air - seeing the vast expanse of the sea and all it has hidden within its depths... I'm glad you brought this back, as I dont' recall it from its first Passionate post.....Nicely done...  |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Thank you, Nan. I totally agree with you. Walking on the edge of the sand, with waves lapping at my feet is the most calming, peace instilling experience I know. I don't live near the water, though it is my dream to do so. Every so often, the water and the sand call to me, and I follow the sound till my feet are once again at the water's edge. Thanks again, Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Um.. Kris... I don't want to rub it in BUT (hehe - dontcha just love those "BUT's"?)... The ocean is just a few steps from my door - I wouldn't have it any other way...  [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 04-18-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
NAN.....! You might as well say, "nah-nah..nah,nah,nah"  How lucky you are...count your blessings. If you ever need some company, someone to talk with while you walk on the shore, I'd be more than glad to oblige.  Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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