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Fire*extended metaphor*
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Fire*extended metaphor* |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
Ok Nan, Here is my Extended Metaphor. It warms us in the middle of a cold night. Fills are being with warmth, cradles us. The Fire within our hearts breathes life The Fire is wondrous Alluring to the heart and Soul We all want to Find the Fire to be engulfed by the fire Yet beware, Fire is of Nature Being both Good and Bad The Fire can Warm and Heal, but just the same it can Burn We all search for the fire needing the fire to fills us I await to fill the warmth The comfort of Love. [This message has been edited by dhuron (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel Huron - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Nice job of using fire as a metaphor for love. I wonder if it might be a little more effective if you changed the first line so as not to completely give away the plot at the beginning. Maybe make us stretch a little to interpret the image. Good job. Pete |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is a good comparison, but like N.A.P. said, don't give it all away in the first line. I enjoyed reading it. Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
Thank you two, Yeah it does sound better after taking out the first line. Thanks Daniel |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
 I specifically waited a couple of days before responding to this, because I wanted to see if other people were looking at the same thing I was... and you were.. I read the poem, and immediately thought - That's a good metaphor, but I don't need to know it before I begin reading... Half of the fun of an extended metaphor is in seeing the comparison and discovering it for yourself... Your poem is much better now, after editing it, Dan... Love - Fire - Flames... These are nice metaphorical comparisons for sure.. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
And I missed the first edition ! But I like it lots as it is now.  Good job dhuron ! |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
*S* Thanks everyone, It does look a lot better after I took out that line*S*. |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
Great work dhuron... I never saw it earlier...but this is good work! saw some of yours in sark pasions too see ya around... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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