»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
A Gloomy Kind of Love ? (second attempt)
| Poetry Workshop |
|
A Gloomy Kind of Love ? (second attempt) |
|
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Okidoki, here we go again  You’re a darkness creeping up my brain Mystery of emotional pain I cry you a sea of crystal tears You hold a grip on my deepest fears Sometimes you embrace with tenderness Making me burn my passionate flesh Hold my heart in the palm of your hand Make me believe I’m in Wonderland However, Love, you I cannot hate, For you are also the singing blade Of the sword of my life’s melody Piercing my heart, yet setting me free Drowning me in my own misery But also making these blind eyes see Flying me on wings of illusion Creating order in confusion While my sorrow embrace the sun The rainbow’s colouring has begun And the sea lets out a crystal roar My dreamship gently washes ashore Gloomy and painful you smile at me Love, inevitable destiny Thanks for the inspiration Not A Poet !  Munda [This message has been edited by Munda (edited 01-28-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Munda - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Good job, Munda!  Denise |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Eureka! Ladies and gentlemen, she has done it again ... Wonderful, wonderful poem, Munda, and a classic example of personification -- well woven into several metaphors. Quite a complex piece you have wrought here! My favorite lines, by far, were: However, Love, you I cannot hate, For you are also the singing blade Of the sword of my life’s melody... Exquisite -- what a comeback! --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Thank you Denise. Always a pleasure to see you Kess.....  ....now see what you did to me....I'm blushing all over from such a compliment ! (and that on my age  )Thank you Kess. [This message has been edited by Munda (edited 01-28-2000).] |
||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I guess Munda from what I've learned about personification in the last few weeks that this is one great poem and spot on the subject of the workshop, no wonder teacher liked it .... I do too, a lot Philip |
||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Munda: I liked the first one too (and thought it was a fine example of personification) but now you go and slip another good one in to show everyone else up! Are you trying to supplant me as teacher's pet or what?  Good job, Munda.Jim |
||
|
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Munda, what would it take to get you to come over and sit by me? I might look at you papers a little but I promise not to outright copy. Well, maybe a little. Yeah I can see why teacher liked this one. It's really loaded up with personification. And I like the couplet format too. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
