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Unfaithfull Love
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Unfaithfull Love |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Humm. Ok I'll try again. Unfaithfull Love The dark of night crept slowly from the east and told of mysteries in quiet song that spoke of love and laughter at a feast the forest would enjoy all evening long. But night embraced the chill of humid air that left the forest cloaked in sorrows sea The treachery of love now brought despair and tears the only wine would ever be. The forest wept through out the dark of night until it knew the pain would be undone. Remembering that twilight's silver light, the salutation of the evening sun Gave promise that with dawn it would return to dry the tears of dew upon the fern. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Lorene Meadows - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Amazing how two little words can make a difference : ) I liked it before Ohme, but like it better now. Sorry, but I can't say anything about meter and da-Dums. : ) Am having a lot of trouble with that myself. : ) |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Ohme...Ohme....we have to get back to work ! You said it yourself in your poem "Solutions". We can not hide any longer, but I can go to sleep....way past my bed time again. ; ) LOL |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
If I ever take another class with you again I will certainly come sit by you again. I am so pleased with my grade. I think you helped me defend myself from fate! I hope your Dutch flu has flown away.  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
After half a bottle of California Chardonnay, this looks rather good to me Actually Ohme, it does look good, nice one ------------------ Alis volat propriis |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Without a doubt, a sterling example of a Shakespearean sonnet. (But you still need to change sorrows into sorrow's) You had some excellent lines in here, my friend -- my particular favorites being those which comprise the finishing couplet. A job well done, indeed! --Kess [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 11-09-1999).] |
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