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Boredom's Child
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Boredom's Child |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Okay, I think I've stooped to a new low - this is the worse I think I've ever written! (Uh oh, writers block is slowly creeping back! AHHH!) Vreni Restlessly disgusted, I stare at my wall Tirelessly crash into it, and laugh as I fall In my minds-eye I gaze across those empty years Glance at a pool of long-gone, imitation tears I play mind-games with myself, pretend to care Act forlorn, fabricate grief or at least despair When did I become so jaded and bored? Nothing shocks me, no crevice unexplored. Repetitive tasks mark a mundane existence A hand painted soul forges its worthless penitence. When did life lose it's technicolor gloss? And turn to a dull gray of a rainy loss? I sigh, feign thought and pretend to wonder Curiosity's foundation I cleave asunder. I roll over, placate apathy, again stare at my wall, Take a running start, and prepare to fall. |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear peanogirl: if this is your worst, i MUST see your best... this is an excellent piece... might i inquire as to what "vreni" means?... the poem is somewhat cryptic -- at the end particularly, but it still left me with a wonderful impression of the themes you were exploring in the poem... i dont have any criticisms, so keep up the great writing  sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
LOL ROFL LOL LOL.....Ahhhh, Novacaine, dear, Vreni is my name. That's not the title of the piece, just a signature to the message above it. ;.) LOL. But I can still tell you what it means...... lol. Means "farm" (much to my dismay!) in sweitzedeutch (form of German spoken in my father's homeland, Switzerland). Indeed, my sister received the name that means "Beautiful" , and I get farm. lol. Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. ;.) In any event, thanks for all the compliments! <blush> Trust me, no work of mine is comparable to those produced by others in this wonderful forum! thanks again! Vreni p.s. Any reason in particular that you're a sad tomato? lol j/k |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
i really liked ur poem, it reminds the reader of ghosts, badthoughts of good times or just thoughts of bad times, ghosts that come back to haunt you, not physically, but mentally, and those ghosts can be very bad, depending on your past and how much of it u blame on urself but ive found that there are 2 ways to end the monotonous boredom of life, 1, look inside yourself and discover who you are, or just discover new things in you, and 2 look to others, try to learn more about them. sometimes you learn something worthwhile or atleast interesting always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :) |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
This is great, and also relates alot to what I'm feeling...exam time. Anyway, like the other poems I've read by you, you get what you're feeling across superbly. Keep writing, (and DON'T think of writer's block, that's where it comes from the MIND) i think i'll go now.  |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Yes my life has taken a sudden turn in this way too. I find myself doing things that I wouldnt normally do, just to make something happen, to make life fun. I dont know if that made sense, but great poem I liked it. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
CLBinlove - Thanks for the compliments and suggestions - I do both of your suggestions to my fullest extent (I'm very big on community service - clock in 40 hrs a week volunteering at the local ER), but, as is an annual tradition, I become very restless and bored at the end of the school year. (just a 3 or 4 day mood. lol.) Thanks again for replying! :.) Lanidarkone - Thanks for replying - Aye, this poem was written during a break from studying - a definite reflection of my mood. ;.) Good luck on your exams! ;.) <blush> Thanks for the compliment - I'm often told I'm blunt, indeed. lol :> Lucius - Aye, you too? I tend to "stir things up" for no apparent reason, and then just sit back and watch it all unfold.(sometimes to my own detriment... lol) Perhaps this collective mood of boredom is a result of summer arriving and many of us being still imprisoned in the wonderful institution labeled school. |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Oh peano! BEAUTIFUL! I loved it! you put words into what I've been feeling lately...thanks for this wonderful piece I play mind-games with myself, pretend to care Act forlorn, fabricate grief or at least despair When did I become so jaded and bored? Nothing shocks me, no crevice unexplored. I can especiallu appreciate that part - it is so beautifully written - keep up the exquisite work ^_^ --Chibified Soldier |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
Well, I'd love to pick into this one a little bit, but I really can't...you write better than I do. Your vocabulary is tremendous, you word timing is very sharp, and you use of adjectives and over all visual description in so real. I'm quite sure you have the capibility to write worse than this. The theme was interesting, too. Jeremy D. Halstead |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Chibi - thanks for the compliments! You and Jeremy dearest certainly know how to make a poet blush! <blush> lol. And Jeremy .....I sincerely do not believe I am a better writer than you (remember, I only say what I mean on here - so I'm not just saying this) ...we have different writing styles, but I am by no means better. :.P Thanks for all the compliments, too - glad you liked it! ;.) Vreni |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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