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Passions in Poetry

A Prisoner's Lament

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ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 06-09-2000
[First Post] 128


0 posted 06-09-2000 02:27 PM       View Profile for ChibiDeathscythe   Email ChibiDeathscythe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ChibiDeathscythe

I am very new to this forum - any replies would be greatly appreciated!

A Prisoner's Lament

There comes a day, to all of us,
when we know that we will leave.
And stay in the same place, yes, indeed;
but the heart's journey knows very little need.

I swim in my pain, no lust could surrender,
until I thrust out my shame;
and in that moment, I briefly remember,
some days when I still had my name.

It will take more than one call I say, perhaps
or perhaps it was what I didn't say,
that made the scarlet and the traps
much easier to find on the way

Nonetheless, I am stranded, and no one can swim
as far out as I have been,
I have seen the wicked ways in them,
those funny girls, and those men.

But still I touch my toes to the sand,
and feel its inviting grains,
and pretend that happiness is a word that I know,
inside my jailbars and pains.



 "Suicides have already betrayed the body.
Still born, they don't always die,
bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile."
-- "Wanting to Die" by Anne Sexton

Adversity Builds character. - Japanese Proverb

"'Even a fool has one talent'.....darn, I'm not even a fool." - My sister, the master of cunning wit

© Copyright 2000 Mary K. - All Rights Reserved
TearsOfPearls
Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 323
Vereeniging, South-Africa


1 posted 06-09-2000 03:33 PM       View Profile for TearsOfPearls   Email TearsOfPearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TearsOfPearls

Welcome to Passions! You'll never regret ever posting here  

It's an excellent poem, I love it. Great way with words.

"and pretend that happiness is a word I know,
inside my jailbars and pains."

That says alot to me.

Great job. Keep up to good stuff.

 Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.
JennyeMeshan
Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 104
Cecil, Wisconsin USA


2 posted 06-10-2000 04:54 PM       View Profile for JennyeMeshan   Email JennyeMeshan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyeMeshan

hey,
You are a really BEAUTIFUL writer! Keep up the great work and don't even hesitate to post more! You are on my best poets list! Your poems flow extremely well and you put your all into it...I can tell.   have a great day!
~JeNnYeMeShAn    


 "If thou can wait then thou shall stay"
-Destiny's Child

ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 06-09-2000
Posts 128


3 posted 06-10-2000 05:21 PM       View Profile for ChibiDeathscythe   Email ChibiDeathscythe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ChibiDeathscythe

Thanks TearsOfPearls and JennyeMeshan! I'm glad you liked my poetry and I'll be looking for yours too!  

 "Suicides have already betrayed the body.
Still born, they don't always die,
bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile."
-- "Wanting to Die" by Anne Sexton

Adversity Builds character. - Japanese Proverb

"'Even a fool has one talent'.....darn, I'm not even a fool." - My sister, the master of cunning wit

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


4 posted 06-10-2000 05:44 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Welcome to the family!  This is a very good poem.  Please check your email!
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 06-01-2000
Posts 572
Morris, Ill. U.S.A


5 posted 06-10-2000 05:54 PM       View Profile for Jeremy Halstead   Email Jeremy Halstead   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeremy Halstead

Hey, do me a favor and I'll do one for you.  Make sure you keep putting stuff up here, and I'll keep replying.  That one really got me.

Jeremy D. Halstead

 
ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 06-09-2000
Posts 128


6 posted 06-10-2000 06:01 PM       View Profile for ChibiDeathscythe   Email ChibiDeathscythe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ChibiDeathscythe

Thanks a bunch Poet deVine and Jeremy! =) And thanks for welcoming me to the forum with open arms          

 "Suicides have already betrayed the body.
Still born, they don't always die,
bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile."
-- "Wanting to Die" by Anne Sexton

Adversity Builds character. - Japanese Proverb

"'Even a fool has one talent'.....darn, I'm not even a fool." - My sister, the master of cunning wit

Novacaine For The Soul
Member
since 05-26-2000
Posts 129
New Orleans


7 posted 06-11-2000 12:41 AM       View Profile for Novacaine For The Soul   Email Novacaine For The Soul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Novacaine For The Soul

dear chibideathscythe:
     anime fan, hmm? *hehe* and also a poet, i see... i had a wee bit of trouble with the flow of the first stanza, but that may be due simply to the irregularity of the meter in your stanzas... i liked the final stanza the best, and whether that's because of the wording or that by the final stanza i'd really gotten hang of the flow of your verse... either way... a very good poem, and a very intriguing take on a

sincerely,
a sad tomato

 you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you...
ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 06-09-2000
Posts 128


8 posted 06-11-2000 12:28 PM       View Profile for ChibiDeathscythe   Email ChibiDeathscythe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ChibiDeathscythe

Yes novacaine, I am an anime fan, and I am delighted to see someone at least recognise what that is *lol*    
I don't really know a lot technically about poems....but I'm always learning  

 "Suicides have already betrayed the body.
Still born, they don't always die,
bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile."
-- "Wanting to Die" by Anne Sexton

Adversity Builds character. - Japanese Proverb

"'Even a fool has one talent'.....darn, I'm not even a fool." - My sister, the master of cunning wit

peanogrl83
Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 203


9 posted 06-11-2000 01:35 PM       View Profile for peanogrl83   Email peanogrl83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for peanogrl83

Nice work and welcome to the forum!  I particularly like the lines

I swim in my pain, no lust could surrender,
until I thrust out my shame;
and in that moment, I briefly remember,
some days when I still had my name.

Once again, great job, keep it up! :.)
                                      Vreni
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


10 posted 11-15-2007 07:24 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
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