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Teen Poetry #2
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StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado

0 posted 2000-06-05 05:51 PM


Shaking hands scribble down long though out words
I repeat to myself this is so obsurd
My bleeding heart releases tears of fire
While I sit back and fight with all desire
Will you be here soon or do I have to keep waiting?
Inside my mind i continue debating
You hurt me deeply and I don't know why
Why do I still keep coming back-reaching for the sky?
I've spent so many nights crying myself to sleep
But still your voice and presence I will keep
I hope that when you get here you'll definately see
You'll see that my love is stronger and always will be
I'll take you far away into that wonderful sea
The place to where only I hold the key
Green grass and flowing rivers of blue
So beautiful you have no clue
Blooming flowers and swaying trees
Biettersweet wind kissing my lips in the breeze
This is all so wonderful for just you and me
But now you are starting to fade-what is happening?
To my heart this is all so saddening
And my utopia slides away along with you
And I have to awake now and live my day cold and blue

© Copyright 2000 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved
amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
1 posted 2000-06-05 06:02 PM


Hi SP,
This longing kills me deep inside and everything seems to be in vain. Finally we realize we're doing nothing but building castles in air without any idea of whats going to happen to it. Do whatever you feel but don't give yourself too much.

Sincerely
A_L

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
2 posted 2000-06-05 06:08 PM


A_L ~ thanks for your reply. UMM...I don't really know what to say because I am confused! I take it you did not like the poem?!?!? thanks for your honesty. I hope the thought occurred to you that I am in love with someone who no longer loves men back. I didn't know that was vain. I am confused by your reply if you could clarify it a little more it owuld help me to understand what you mean!! ~*~Jessica~*~
amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
3 posted 2000-06-05 06:22 PM


Hi
I just said don't give yourself too much in love for you'll never know what you've lost until it's gone.Your honor,faith everything will be crushed.

Sincerely
A_L

Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
4 posted 2000-06-05 07:57 PM


To my heart this is all so saddening
And my utopia slides away along with you
And I have to awake now and live my day cold and blue


My utopia slides away.......I love how you put that. Great poem


 Lucidity is the answer to all problems

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
5 posted 2000-06-05 08:01 PM


Thanks for the reply Lucius! I like to hear what everyone thinks! especially what your favorite lines are...it gives me more inspiration! thanks again! Love Always~*~Jessica Lynn~*~
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
6 posted 2000-06-06 03:48 AM


I don't like to pick a fav line in any poem, because each line carries it's own signifigance to the whole.  However, my fav thing about the poem was your description.  I could see and feel everything.  Your use of adjective painted it beautifuly.

Jeremy

 

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-06-06 10:27 PM


=0)  Thanks Jeremy! I wrote this the other night while thinking about my ex and how much I love him. and how I would give anything to have him in my arms just one more time...
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