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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2000-06-04 10:26 PM

This isn't meant to be any kind of knock or competition towards the other poem entitled the same. I read it and reccomend that you do to!!!!

I'm In Love

Making me weep, it brings me to my knees.
To hold it tight, I beg he softly to please
never make me leave.

It sends me through the finest joys and pains;
back and forth, tugging on the reigns.
I have no control.

To have control, to have the wheel
would negate the depth of wha I feel.
I'm dancing on the edge.

I want security, I need the maximum
extent of emotion inside her passion.
I'm torn between myself.

When she talks, when she's still
I need a camera. Where's the film?
Every crease, every single line
of her face, I'll capture for all time.
I never look away.

I'm in love...I'm in deep.
On my knees, I start to weep.
I pray to God, her heart I'll keep.
I'm in love with her.

Jeremy D. Halstead

CLBinLOVE
Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

1 posted 2000-06-04 10:34 PM

i really dont know, yours is pretty good, its a different style of writing, and a little different im meaning, i like it

always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside...:)

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

2 posted 2000-06-04 10:39 PM

If that's what love feels like, I think you just explained it. This is a really sweet poem. I liked it alot. Keep up the good work.

Isa

"Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls."
~Voltaire~

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

3 posted 2000-06-05 07:10 PM

Yet again! Your words moved me in such a way I felt like I was in love for the very first time jumping for the feelings I foolishly wanted only to find I would get hurt. But I know that one of teses days, I'll find someone who loves me just as much as I love him and I will truly be happy...my only question is how long do I have to wait? Well, I hope you are in love! I hope you are feeling all these things and more because love is a wonderful thing...as long as it is true and not only that but mutual! Wonderful writing! Keep it up!! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~

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