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brendon2k
Junior Member

since 2000-05-11

Posts 38
none

0 posted 2000-06-02 06:31 PM

as i walk through these shadows of hate,
a light that bleeds in the dark make me wait,
am i being pushed or is it my own will,
but a drive in my heart seems to keep me still,
with strugle i start to let go,
but now that i feel so alone,
in hope that this light will take me home,
yet why do my feet move so slow,
when home is you and it's the only place i want to go,
when home is you and it's the only place that i know,
confusion is holding me back,
i hate you but i still want you back,
you've turned my heart inside out,
and all this pain still makes me shout,
yet everything inside has made me so blue,
and everything inside wants to forget you,
as i walk through these shadows im confused,
that the light that makes this dark is you,
all these thoughts of you i've kept so long,
yet somehow i know this was always wrong,
i laugh at all my thoughts of you,
somehow i wish that you could know,
but now that my feet move so slow,
still thinking this light will take me home,
when home is you and it's the only place i want to go,
when home is you and it's the only place that i know

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

1 posted 2000-06-02 07:19 PM

WOW! I love your poem! it is very powerful. Maybe it is because I am in this EXACT position right now and I feel like my world has crumbled. You portrayed your feelings very well with each line. Keep Writing! Always and Forever ~*~Jessica~*~

Lucius Cade
Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 235
Saskatchewan

2 posted 2000-06-02 09:24 PM

Aye I like this one alot.

yet why do my feet move so slow,
when home is you and it's the only place i want to go,
when home is you and it's the only place that i know,
confusion is holding me back,
i hate you but i still want you back,

The words flow like water. Cool stuff.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Matchstick McGee
Junior Member

since 2000-05-15

Posts 26
Austin, Texas

3 posted 2000-06-04 12:25 PM

"as i walk through these shadows im confused,
that the light that makes this dark is you,"

This is a really great poem that I know the feeling of very well... those are my favorite two lines because of the clear and beautiful (in a painful way) double image.

-Matchstick

peanogrl83
Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 202

4 posted 2000-06-04 12:34 PM

Nice work! The meter rather reminds me of a song ..indeed, it would make a wonderfully swell song!
Vreni

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

5 posted 2000-06-05 04:06 PM

This is an excellent poem. I like it very much.

Keep up the good stuff

Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

amazon_lover
Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland

6 posted 2000-06-05 04:19 PM

Hi brendon
This is a mixed feeling. I try not to hate anyone but I can't avoid it at times. The same way you feel.
Sincerely
A_L

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