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Passions in Poetry

Rob

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peanogrl83
Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 203


0 posted 05-28-2000 11:42 PM       View Profile for peanogrl83   Email peanogrl83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for peanogrl83

I haven't written in ages, due to severe writers block and a busy schedule.  This is a dedication to a friend - Rob - who committed suicide in March of this year. -  Vreni

You held the world, your life, in your hands
But, alas, the hourglass has released its sands
Your time is up, the Fate's ship has docked
Though your soul runs, your destiny's locked
Now you scratch and claw the towering wall
That's essence surrounds you as you fall
You cannot stop now, deeper you stumble
Other's conscience in your ears, a low rumble.
You scream loudly to drown out that sound,
Easier ignored than acknowledged, you've found.
Voices plea, implore, begging you to pause and listen,
The collective hears the gun, sees the blood glisten.
And as you near the bottom of your voidless descent,
We attempt to catch you, the full impact prevent
But we arrive too late, you've collided with the floor
Our screams, your screams, cease, the silence a deafening roar.
You break the solace with a shrill  laugh and a trademark grin,
Free from the pain at last, you no longer hear our voice's din.
Desperate to reach you, we pray you receive this message last:
We miss you dearly, our affections posthumously amassed.


- dedicated to Rob
© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
mickel2995
Junior Member
since 05-24-2000
Posts 48


1 posted 05-29-2000 12:28 AM       View Profile for mickel2995   Email mickel2995   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mickel2995

WOW!!!  First let me begin by telling how sad I am for you because of this tradgic loss!  I know how hard it is, One of my great friends was killed in a car acciddent a month and a week ago.  Though the circumstances are different, I know what you are going through and I am deeply, deeply sorry!  But hang in there it all gets better.  Anyways, LOVED,LOVED, the piece!!!  Please keep it up!
Micale

 
peanogrl83
Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 203


2 posted 05-29-2000 12:25 PM       View Profile for peanogrl83   Email peanogrl83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for peanogrl83

Thanks for the support and understanding, Micale!  Being the rather poor poet that I am, this cannot even begin to pay homage to my friend, but alas, it's the best I could produce.  Thanks again for replying! ;.)
    
                                        Vreni
Vanessa
New Member
since 05-25-2000
Posts 5


3 posted 05-30-2000 01:04 PM       View Profile for Vanessa   Email Vanessa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Vanessa

I'm extremely sorry for your loss, but I'm sure that Rob would appreciate the dedication. I have no idea how you feel losing a friend that way, but I know what it's like to lose friends to car accidents, so I sympathize for you! I find it easier to write about things that are happening in my life otr have happened. Mostly I write when I'm upset because it helps me feel better. I think this is your own little(or big) way of dealing with the loss of Rob and it also lets him know what he means to you. I bet he's proud of you for writing this! I know I sure am!!!
Snickers
Member
since 05-25-2000
Posts 88
East Haddam, CT


4 posted 05-30-2000 05:50 PM       View Profile for Snickers   Email Snickers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Snickers

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I understand what it feels like to lose somebody to suicide.  Last month, 2 guyz from my school killed themselves by driving into a tree (I used to go out with one of them).  Though I didn't know either of them very well, the pain was (still is) incredible and very difficult to deal with.  Now my very best friend is suicidal (though I got her help-I guess it was too late to help Jeff and Mike) and I have to admit I often feel that way too.  So suicide has been a big subject for me in my poems lately.  It's a very serious matter which affects your emotions so strongly and I guess it's good to write about how u feel.  Again, I'm so sorry.  It's too bad that people don't realize that things DO get better and if only they could reach out for help they will.  Very excellent poem and so heartfelt.  Great work!

~<3 Alwayz~
**Nikki**

  

peanogrl83
Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 203


5 posted 05-30-2000 10:26 PM       View Profile for peanogrl83   Email peanogrl83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for peanogrl83

Vanessa and Nikki: Thanks for your support and understanding! It truly means a lot!
                  
                                   Vreni
Lucius Cade
Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 239
Saskatchewan


6 posted 05-31-2000 12:50 AM       View Profile for Lucius Cade   Email Lucius Cade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucius Cade

Yes this poem is fantastic, fantasticaly sad but still a perfect reflection of your emotions. Great poem

 Lucidity is the answer to all problems
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


7 posted 05-31-2000 03:23 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a well written, but such a sad poem and situation. It's always awful when someone you love throws away God's greatest gift, and I hope writing this helped you cope.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
peanogrl83
Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 203


8 posted 06-01-2000 05:22 PM       View Profile for peanogrl83   Email peanogrl83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for peanogrl83

Thanks for the compliments, Lucius and Lovebug! I apprecaite them!
                          Vreni
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


9 posted 06-19-2000 11:47 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

dear vreni,
that was a most fantastic piece of poetry. whatever the cause of Rob's decision, i'm sure he smiles when he reads the "message last" that you have sent him. i hope your poem has helped you cope. i stretch out with compassion. keep strivin'.
thanks for the awesome post.

We all got somethin' we need to atone for.
anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


10 posted 06-20-2000 04:27 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Firstly let me just say that I am deeply sorry or your loss. I lost someone I knew earlier this year as he was hit by a train. I hope that you are alright.  

Secondly, this is a fantastic piece of writing. There is just so much emotion put into it.

Great work.

~AF~

"Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement."
Christopher Fry

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


11 posted 11-15-2007 07:29 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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