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Passions in Poetry

Untitled (Need Sugg.)

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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 05-04-2000 08:37 AM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

I'll let my tears flow freely,
I'm not afraid for you to see.
For these are the true colors,
of which you gave to me.
I cannot hold my anger in,
it kills me each time,
you ask me a simple question,
and I lie to cover what's mine.
© Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
DragonFang
Senior Member
since 03-09-2000
Posts 525
Missouri, USA


1 posted 05-04-2000 08:45 AM       View Profile for DragonFang   Email DragonFang   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DragonFang's Home Page   View IP for DragonFang

hmmmm... I like the poem. How about "You gave me . . . " or something along those lines??

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great,
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost
Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member
since 01-19-2000
Posts 199
Massachusetts ~USA~


2 posted 05-04-2000 10:11 AM       View Profile for Oo0ostephanio0oO   Email Oo0ostephanio0oO   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Oo0ostephanio0oO's Home Page   View IP for Oo0ostephanio0oO

Short and to the point. Very nice.
...hmm...
strength, perhaps?
? ? ?
goodluck  


 (:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA


3 posted 05-04-2000 10:31 AM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee

Sometimes less is more, your poem is short, to the point and well expressed  

Title suggestion:The Colours You Gave Unto Me

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee
*~Juliet~*
Junior Member
since 05-02-2000
Posts 20
Key West


4 posted 05-04-2000 06:08 PM       View Profile for *~Juliet~*   Email *~Juliet~*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit *~Juliet~*'s Home Page   View IP for *~Juliet~*

Very nice poem...maybe "true colors"?    Good luck  
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


5 posted 05-05-2000 05:52 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

yes.. effective use of words.. I am not sure though, about the last line..
"and I lie to cover what's mine." "what's mine"? What IS yours? what are you covering? it is a little hard to suggest a title, 'coz I don't understand this line, and, it kinda sounds like the punch line..
but, maybe..
"True Colours" or.. "Don't want to Lie" or..  "I'm not a lie".. umm.. or "I'll let my tears". or something like "I'll lie no more.."

hehe, good luck with your title searching. ^_^

nice work here..

Lynne
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


6 posted 11-08-2000 03:52 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

thanks all. just addin this to my library


Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


7 posted 11-15-2007 07:43 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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