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Teen Poetry #2
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LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina

0 posted 2000-04-27 09:58 AM



Only with you
I feel so wanted
Only with you
I feel like a star
When I'm all crumbled
You build me up
When I am overwhelmed
You forgive everything

I scream out loud
As I break in half
Then you make me laugh
And it's all I can do

Only with you
The sun rises and sets
All the day long
You spell your name
And I've been thinking
If you really love me
You might be part of me
Maybe we'll fly so far away

I scream out loud
As I break in half
Then you make me laugh
And it's all I can do
This is all I can do
What would you have me do?
Only with you
I find it only in you.......

*tag, you're it!*




 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)


© Copyright 2000 Meredith - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
1 posted 2000-04-27 10:35 AM


~~~nice writing~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~tag~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UndyingLove
Junior Member
since 2000-04-24
Posts 23
Bethany, OK, USA
2 posted 2000-04-27 04:34 PM


Great job!  I really like it.
4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

3 posted 2000-04-28 07:32 AM


you know what i really like about this poem??
i love how you have a repition of 'as i break in half, then you make me laugh"
i think it works really feel...it adds a lot of emphasis

great job

Bec

 i never thought i'd die alone, i laughed the loudest who'd have known?
i traced the cord back to the wall, no wonder it was never plugged in at all
i took my time, i hurried up
the choice was mine i didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on, you'll be sorry when i'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when i still felt alive, we couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over i'd survived
I couldn't wait till i got home, to pass the time in my room alone
I never thought i'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to my friends, you'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time i spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall, please tell mum this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when i can still feel alive, when i can't wait to get outside
The world was wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, i've survived
I can't wait till i get home, to pass the time in my room alone

'Adam's Song'
Blink 182

4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

4 posted 2000-04-28 07:33 AM


oops...that is spose to say....'it works really well' not 'it works really feel'  

my stupid wording ability lol


LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
5 posted 2000-04-28 09:37 AM


Hey ya'll, thanx for replying. I wrote this last year when I was al "happy" with my then-boyfriend, thinking stupidly that we would last <ha! highschool relationships lasting? right> Anyway, I thought it was funny how I've changed my perspective on the subject since, but I still like this poem. It makes me laugh. Once again, thanks to all!  

*~Meredith~*

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)


ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2000-04-29 04:46 PM


This is a neat poem! I guess everyone believes their high school relationship will be the first to last...until it ends! I am not speaking from experience..I've yet to encounter first love but I do speak from quiet observation!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

bulletproof2312
Junior Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 28
Beaumont Tx, 77707
7 posted 2000-04-30 05:39 PM


hey Mer, wouldn't it be nice to get back to that feeling?  ... Niffty poem.... *SMILES*

 "Here I stand I can do none other"---Luther

son of man
Member
since 2000-04-25
Posts 125

8 posted 2000-05-01 12:59 PM


i feel ya.
good job!

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