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Teen Poetry #2
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Little Girl
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Little Girl |
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MerritW Junior Member
since 2000-04-18
Posts 33Texas |
Come in, take a look All broken, Earth has shook White carpet, covered in red Little girl crying on the bed Punctured lungs, slow breathing Broken heart, barely beating Only 5, just started So soon her soul has parted Lying still, so confused Can't think, can't move Tears fall, all alone No one helping her at home Head lightens, feels weak Eyes close, body sleeps Fade away, follow light Find God, take flight Car arrives, pulls in All the madness must begin Steps inside, opens door Sister drops to knees on floor Looks up, sees the girl Dark sky, hellish world Pumps chest, helps breathe Screaming out loud, "Please Don't Leave" Heart stopped, lost life Death came, bloody knife Girl awakes, winged now Learn to fly, they'll teach you how Little angel, only 5 Happy now, again alive Looking down, bringing peace to the world Protecting all the little girls [This message has been edited by MerritW (edited 04-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Merrit W. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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**Angel** Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 162 |
Wow! First off, Welcome to Passions! I am amazed by this piece. It is truly wonderful, but so sad. I look forward to reading more of your work. Lindsay |
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Rachel8383 Junior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 44 |
That's a great peice! Welcome to passions, I look forward to seeing more of your work. Keep it up! Rachel |
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FlipAngel Junior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 46Prior Lake, MN, USA |
Wow, this is a wonderful piece! It is really touching, I loved it. ~Rachel~ What inspired you to write this? |
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MerritW Junior Member
since 2000-04-18
Posts 33Texas |
Thanks y'all. I was inspired by my sister's death to be honest. It took a long time for me to write. But anyway thank you again. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Beautiful and touching poem. Welcome to Passions, may your stay be long and fulfilling. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Carly Junior Member
since 2000-04-18
Posts 17Michigan, USA |
This was really great... I could never even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose my little sister... This had really good emotion. ~Carly |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow this is an amazing poem. I was shocked to read it the first time. Then I re-read it and read it again and I realised that in it's own way it is happy. The little girl was set free in a way. I just wish the rest of the poem could have been happier. But you did a grat job of getting all the emotion in it. Well done!! Love Always, Shell. |
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DaZeD&cOnFuSeD Junior Member
since 2000-04-20
Posts 32 |
Good work!! I think that it sad but its also happy... Im glad you have had some closure.. DåzêÐ&CõñfûsëÐ Dana |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
This is a beautiful poem ans it gave me goosebumps when I read it. Keep up writing such lovely poems. |
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natalie Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 56 |
I'm sorry about your sister, this is a really touching and good poem natalie... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I am truly sorry about the loss of your sister. This was a bittersweet piece to read, but so very well written and expressed. The poem was very visual and chilling. The ending left the reader at ease knowing that the little girl's pain was finally gone, that she now protects other little girl's like herself. An excellent ending! This is the first poem that I have read by you and I am very impressed. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Dear god... that is the saddist poem that I've ever read... so beautifuly written, and yet so very heart wrenching.... anyway, this is a wonderfully written poem. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ I am lost in my own mind. Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great, And would suffice. -Robert Frost |
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MerritW Junior Member
since 2000-04-18
Posts 33Texas |
Thank you everyone. It really means a lot to me to hear from y'all. I'm very thankful. Merrit *Love is the only thing that keeps me sane* (Sue Townsend) |
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Blue Rose Junior Member
since 2000-04-20
Posts 18Vernonia OR USA |
Wow! That gave me goosebumps. Your poem was wonderful, I know a lot of people probably say that, but it is! It had so much emotion and i could almost see the small, winged child floating into a peaceful haze. I'm very sorry for your loss adn wish you all the best in your future poetry writing. |
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4eva_at_heart Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238 |
*case of the watering eyes* that was such a beautiful poem..... i'm sorry to hear about your sister...but to be inspired by a tragedy...to write such a gorgeous poem based upon it is really quite a courageous feat Welcome to Passions...i know you will definately be an impressive addition to the 'family' keep up the beautiful poetry Bec "whenever you are feeling alone...i'll take your hand in mine and we will walk together" |
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Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
Merrit, I am very impressed. You were able to put such a horrible event into such beautiful words. I'm very sorry for your loss. Poetry is a great way to deal with things like this. I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep up the good work! ~Sarah |
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