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Teen Poetry #2

Monster in Control...

The Jackal
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 2000-04-01 12:50 PM

your really on a roll
says your monster in control
your taking uncertain risks
and at the sight of you
we all just cant resist
pudgy sense of urgency
life is safer on the outer rim
its only part of the could have been
pretend your dying.. pretend your hiding
with pictures in the sea
washed ashore
whispering nothing as a final plea

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2000-04-01 02:08 AM

This is a really good piece Jackal. I loved the emotions displayed thorughout the piece.

Great work.

~AF~

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2000-04-01 03:34 AM

WOW!!!! Powerful poem, this! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

**Angel**
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 162

3 posted 2000-04-01 07:15 AM

Great poem. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thank you

Lindsay

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

4 posted 2000-04-01 03:02 PM

Deep, dark, mysterious and boding. Four words I know well, and I'm trying to tell you I like this! It rocks! You've like, awakened my inner freak who makes me make a fool out of myself. (the punk) Anyway, great post, I love it.

Trying to get gum off my shoe,
Meredith

*There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

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