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Teen Poetry #2
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*~*~*butterfly*~*~*
New Member
since 2000-03-10
Posts 6
Minnesota

0 posted 2000-03-28 11:03 PM


~*~blocked~*~

all my pain,
all my imperfections,
all my worries,
always going through my head.

my mind is full,
my soul is full,
my heart is open;
no more.

failure of trying to be me.
i am to blame,
this runs through my head,
more and more.

my mind, heart and soul are blocked,
one huge cement wall,
between me and the world.
closed off from everyone,
no one can get in,
not even me.

as much as i want to end it all,
something says wait a little more.
no one knows of my true pain,
im so very, very scared
to deal with myself.
because what if im not here in the end.

*kasandra*

"When faced with a challenge search for a way, not a way out." --unknown


© Copyright 2000 *~*~*butterfly*~*~* - All Rights Reserved
LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
1 posted 2000-03-28 11:31 PM


Hey, I like this! I think you've been reading my mind. Great poem, lots of awesome phrases and feelings. *clap clap*

Meredith

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)


Mellon Collie
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49
united states of america
2 posted 2000-03-29 02:16 AM


dear butterfly,
    
     the last two lines are my favorites, very ominous.  *hehe* i dig it.  i'm not a big fan of the centering though.  i feel that it throws off the reader's rhythm.  i know it does mine *heh*.  anyway, good job and welcome to the teen forum.

sincerely,
the beautiful freak

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2000-03-29 04:01 AM


For starters welcome to passions and I hope that you are as fulfilled here as we all are.

This is a nice, soulful piece. Good description and a nice kind of flow running through it. However I must agree with Mellon Collie about having the writing in the center. ..Either way it is a great piece and I look forward to reading more of your work.  

~AF~

 What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger



*~*~*butterfly*~*~*
New Member
since 2000-03-10
Posts 6
Minnesota
4 posted 2000-03-29 11:52 PM


thank you guys very much for your replies!! i appreciate it very much. i think you guys are right about the centering thing..... i never thought about til you mentioned it. thanx  

*kasandra*

"When faced with a challenge search for a way, not a way out." -unknown

Suzanne
Junior Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 18
Florida
5 posted 2000-03-30 12:04 PM


hey, that was a really good poem! i liked it a lot. I hope to read more from you!  
ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2000-03-31 05:11 AM


This is a beautiful poem. I can just feel all of the emotion running through it. I felt that way not so long ago, but my best friend helped me re enter the world of the living. I hope you find the way and that you have someone to take your hand and guide you out of your emotional prison. Keep posting, I would love to read some more of your work!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie(ESP)


**Angel**
Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 162

7 posted 2000-03-31 08:20 PM


An excellent poem. I am just amazed at the talent here at Passions.
I could sense the sadness in your poem. I truly hope you get through this. You have friends here always willing to listen.

Thank you

Lindsay

4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

8 posted 2000-03-31 09:27 PM


i love this! excellent work! this is going on my poetry wall! yes...my poetry wall...a collection of works from people at passion!
i can relate to this....i am scared that afer i explore myself...there will be nothing there.

Bec

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