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emptyness
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2000-03-27 07:50 PM

these are a group of words that describe a very important part of my life    see if you can feel the emotions i felt

seeing...talking...considering...detained...   secretive...planning...asking...rejoicing...holding ...kissing...looseing...crying...decomposing... begging...loosing...fighting...crying...crying...
crying...running...hiding...found...befriending.

        and now i am happy

"scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2000-03-27 09:02 PM

yes I can feel what you were going through here. Good work.

~AF~

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2000-03-28 06:07 AM

I can feel it alright! There are plenty of feelings there, I can imagine the scenario.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

3 posted 2000-03-28 03:34 PM

This read seemed like an emotional roller coaster ride. Three words lacked -ing.
The write might have been interesting if each emotion was followed by its opposite as you experienced it.
Anyway, a little refinement may make it more poetic if thats your intention.

Regardless, to be happy in the end is what counts.
DH

angel6917
Member

since 2000-01-14

Posts 478
WI

4 posted 2000-03-28 03:54 PM

I liked this-
I understood completely what the scenario could've been.
I think that's the scenario I'm in the middle of right now.
~Kristi Lynn

April Resi
Member

since 1999-10-18

Posts 119
Alabama

5 posted 2000-03-28 05:18 PM

Nice work!
It's always nice to see something a little different in here. I'm glad you are happy now!
April

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

6 posted 2000-03-28 05:25 PM

good job!! the vivid words help express emotion. i'm really glad you are happy now

UnPumpkin
Junior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 18

7 posted 2001-03-25 01:25 AM

You have captured perfectly how i feel about you. And also made me insanely jealous.

emptyness
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

8 posted 2001-03-27 05:06 PM

blah

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-11-15 07:46 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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