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Passions in Poetry

thoughts

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emptyness
Member
since 03-09-2000
Posts 96
mobile,Ala,USA


0 posted 03-27-2000 07:50 PM       View Profile for emptyness   Email emptyness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for emptyness


these are a group of words that describe a very important part of my life    see if you can feel the emotions i felt

seeing...talking...considering...detained...   secretive...planning...asking...rejoicing...holding ...kissing...looseing...crying...decomposing... begging...loosing...fighting...crying...crying...
crying...running...hiding...found...befriending.

        and now i am happy



 "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write

© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


1 posted 03-27-2000 09:02 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

yes I can feel what you were going through here. Good work.

~AF~
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


2 posted 03-28-2000 06:07 AM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

I can feel it alright! There are plenty of feelings there, I can imagine the scenario.
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


3 posted 03-28-2000 03:34 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

This read seemed like an emotional roller coaster ride.  Three words lacked -ing.
The write might have been interesting if each emotion was followed by its opposite as you experienced it.  
Anyway, a little refinement may make it more poetic if thats your intention.

Regardless, to be happy in the end is what counts.
DH
angel6917
Member
since 01-14-2000
Posts 478
WI


4 posted 03-28-2000 03:54 PM       View Profile for angel6917   Email angel6917   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angel6917

I liked this-
I understood completely what the scenario could've been.
I think that's the scenario I'm in the middle of right now.
~Kristi Lynn
April Resi
Member
since 10-18-1999
Posts 118
Alabama


5 posted 03-28-2000 05:18 PM       View Profile for April Resi   Email April Resi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for April Resi

Nice work!
It's always nice to see something a little different in here. I'm glad you are happy now!
April
pharon
Member
since 11-13-1999
Posts 251
alabama


6 posted 03-28-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for pharon   Email pharon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit pharon's Home Page   View IP for pharon

good job!! the vivid words help express emotion. i'm really glad you are happy now  
UnPumpkin
Junior Member
since 03-25-2001
Posts 18


7 posted 03-25-2001 01:25 AM       View Profile for UnPumpkin   Email UnPumpkin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for UnPumpkin

You have captured perfectly how i feel about you. And also made me insanely jealous.
emptyness
Member
since 03-09-2000
Posts 96
mobile,Ala,USA


8 posted 03-27-2001 05:06 PM       View Profile for emptyness   Email emptyness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for emptyness

blah
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


9 posted 11-15-2007 07:46 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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