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Teen Poetry #2
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When will I see my God
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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When will I see my God |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
Here I lay on this day Tired of what I see I see the moon over the horizen I see the sun teasing me. This day God made for me and everyone else. So I sit here wondering when will I see the one that made the earth his footstoole. The creator of the heavens and the earth the very same one where we have used for many genrations. I want to feel his love apon me I want to feel his warm touch when I get close to him. When will I see my God in his glory. This is my question and my devotation For when day turn to night I am still there The fallen angel jytree |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mellon Collie Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49united states of america |
dear jytree, well, i'm really not sure how to critique this work on the basis of verse due to its somewhat eclectic nature. i will say, however, that i like the first 4 lines the best. this is a very interesting piece that you've composed and despite a number of spelling and punctuation errors, i feel that it's well-written. i have to say, though being of the Christian faith, i have never had the urgent longing to go to Heaven. i HAVE, however, long desired to see the face of God where i stand now. much like moses did, or elijah. of which glory does this work speak? the glory to come or the glory that is now revealed for the fervent and devout seeker? sincerely, the beautiful freak |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Powerful poem. I liked the original layout! |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I loved your poem, it was so wonderful. You spoke to my soul thhrough this. I really think this is one of your best. Be cool! *There is no destination where we are Please take me somewhere far Far away from this world of mine* (by me) |
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