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Teen Poetry #2
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4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238


0 posted 2000-03-20 03:45 AM


my mind has clouded over
the cogs of thinking have ceased
no longer can i withdraw thoughts
expressive words have been creased

my paper lay barren
the pen i use is dry
no longer do my feelings flow
i sit aside and cry

i have so many emotions
and thoughts i'd like to share
no longer can i convert them to verse
the words are simply not there

frustration proves to share attributes
with a barrier of steel and wire
no longer can i write
my mind is bound, i try and tire

eyes so red and vision blurry
staring at the screen
no longer will my feelings be written
for the words have gone and been



© Copyright 2000 Bec - All Rights Reserved
4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

1 posted 2000-03-21 03:10 AM


i would really appreciate any feed back
thanx

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-03-21 03:43 PM


Well, even though you speak of difficulty in writing, I think you did well with this one.
Sometimes, the harder we struggle to find the right words, the more they elude us.
I have read several of your postings and I think you write well.  Be patient, your verse will come.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2000-03-22 03:00 AM


Interesting poem Bec. However I do like it very much. It expresses just how bloody irritating it is not to be able to get any words or verses happening. Jolly good work.

EJ  

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
4 posted 2000-03-22 08:15 AM


haha, Great poem Bec. I know well the feeling of not being able to think what to write . . . . So I don't really, I can put almost anything into verse and speak in poems sometimes, which bugs my friends, but hey, this is still a great poem Bec, keep up the good work.

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.


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