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Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

0 posted 2000-03-18 06:41 PM

This is a song I've translated from arabic to English. I don't know if it works well....but any suggestions are defiantly welcome.

At Times Dear World

at times dear world I can endure you
but never could I understand you
you never really understood me

at times I feel I’m living with open wounds
awaiting my ever final dooms
with my broken tears surrounding me

at times I can see through life’s darkest night
and at times I could die of my loneliness and fright
but I must learn to conceal my pain

at times I wish this night would drift away
with out any grief nor heartache by day
surpassing my burning desire

at times you take the ones I love
which has to be eternal fate from above
but I must endure my own sorrow

at times I’ve loved hearts that betray
and a thousand times I’ve gone the wrong way
world, you still don’t care for me

"Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders."

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

1 posted 2000-03-31 03:38 PM

I like this just the way its written. The structure is nice and the rhyme unique. There is so much emotion here that it jumps out from the words.
Very nice writing.

A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2000-03-31 04:08 PM

This is a lovely poem, the feelings are so vivid. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

heart_on_sleeve
Member

since 2000-03-29

Posts 55

3 posted 2000-03-31 07:51 PM

Very deep poem.Loved it.
Heart_on_sleeve

4eva_at_heart
Member

since 2000-02-12

Posts 238

4 posted 2000-03-31 09:36 PM

wow..this is a special piece of work. keep it and never forget it.

such is life

Bec

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2000-03-31 10:10 PM

This is quite a deep poem. I enjoyed reading it alot. You can feel every emotion in this piece.

~AF~

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

dazed
Member

since 2000-03-13

Posts 119
USA

6 posted 2000-03-31 11:12 PM

This is a good song or poem,
I dont think anything needs done!!!
Dana

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