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Teen Poetry #2
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Just three little words
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Just three little words |
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JennyeMeshan Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 103Cecil, Wisconsin USA |
My mind is spinning in strange directions, Our lives crossed like intersections, You're the one who is no longer here, Day after day I want you near, My flowers are dying and weeping, I cry when I'm trying sleeping, Because I think of what I could have done, Figure a way to make things right not wrong, When I think of you can you hear me, Call out your name through my weeping, My heart has to die and today's the day, In that Jail Cell I don't want him to stay, I feel it's my fault, but it goes both ways, When I find out when you come back I'll count the days, Remember that I love you so, And that my heart, mind adn soul won't let you go. I wanna say "I love you Jasper", Hoping it will bring you back even faster, I want you to say "I love you Jennye," Which is something you don't tell many. ~JeNnYeMeShAn~ This is another poem about Jasper. "If thou can wait then thou shall stay" -Destiny's Child |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jennifer Trejo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Why do you think it is your fault this boy is in jail? It feels like you were trying to force a rhyme in the beginning of this piece. When you stopped rhyming and just let the words flow, the piece flowed better. You have some great raw talent in your writing. If you spend some time on it I think you could really be a great poet. If you want any hints or just someone to talk to, e-mail me.  |
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4eva_at_heart Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238 |
"i love you' is much more than just three little words. it is giving someone your heart and your life all the best Jennye Bec |
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dazed Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 119USA |
nice it starts good ends good but the middle of it needs a little work |
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JennyeMeshan Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 103Cecil, Wisconsin USA |
hi All!, I was just writing everything I was thinking. I wasn't being a mastermind poet but I had to let it out some how. thankz for replying and for the great comments. A smile form across my face everytime I read these. It's so much fun adn it gets my mind off of things. ~JeNnYeMeShAn~  rolling with joy"If thou can wait then thou shall stay" -Destiny's Child |
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