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Teen Poetry #2
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emptyness
Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2000-03-13 12:18 PM


i left you
all alone in the night
but im cold

when we were together  
we were warm
and i ran into the darkness
into the cold

you came after me
trying to get me warm again
but i kept running
part of me didnt want to be warm
part of me was afraid to be warm

you never stopped
you never gave up
you looked for me until you found me
laying on the ground covered with ice

then you laid on the ground
you got colder
then we were together  
frozen in ice

 "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write


© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved
SwEEt&iNnOcCeNt
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 45

1 posted 2000-03-13 12:37 PM


emptyness wonderful poem! i hope to see more out of you!! this is a wonderful poem and it really toches a place in some peoples heart that knows how it feels!! keep up the wonderful work!!


when i was lying with you in the coldness
underneath the ice
wondering why i was chasing you
when all you did was run away from me

You left me in the cold
you left me behind to wonder alone

Why should i lay beside you in the coldness
in the ice??
when you dont really love me.
I dont want to be warm
I want to be cold!

never again i want to love anyone
you put pain and hurt in my heart.
so i'm leaving you here

to lay in the coldness
underneath the ice!


~song~

I never thought you were a fool or a friend
you never let me down you were ture to the end.. and in the darkes hour when all is lost some how you left the light on you fast the worng you showed the world a thing or two stud up for me and you...

sorry i can't finish the rest!!! wonderful poem got to go!!!!

JennyeMeshan
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 103
Cecil, Wisconsin USA
2 posted 2000-03-13 12:44 PM


Very great poem! It got me thinking a little! I like it alot! Keep writing!
~JeNnYeMeShAn~

 "If thou can wait then thou shall stay"
-Destiny's Child


4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

3 posted 2000-03-13 01:16 AM


i like this alot!!!!
may i ask..have you ever fallen in love and been hurt? because the feeliings illustarted in your piece sounds familiar to that of a friend o f mine who fell in love, had her heart broken, and now is scared to care for another person so strongly for fear of being hurt again

Overall a great poem!! i like the contrast between warmth and cold...your theme came through clearly

Bec

SwEEt&iNnOcCeNt
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 45

4 posted 2000-03-13 09:20 AM


4eva_at_heart: to answer your question yes i have. I know how your friend feels and i  feel the same way! i'm scared that i will be hurt again! and never beable to be happy again. so yes i have and i know where you friends comeing from.  

aNd tOo JennYe

ThaNk YoU very much... emptyness is a wonderful poet and its kinda fun to respond as the other person he's talking to!!

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
5 posted 2000-03-13 10:43 AM


Emptyness~  I love this poem, and I must admit that every poem that I read by you seems so much better than the last.  Keep up the good work.  
~Kristi Lynn

Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
6 posted 2000-03-13 12:52 PM


Good poem. I think just about every person in Passions can relate with your work. Good job. Hope to read more.
Tara
Member
since 2000-02-21
Posts 76
Minnesota
7 posted 2000-03-13 05:47 PM


I totally agree with Kristi Lynn.  Every one of your poems keeps getting better and better.  So far I've been able to relate to almost all your poems.  I love them.  Keep up the good work.  Tara
pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
8 posted 2000-03-13 06:05 PM


wonderful job -- i can relate to this so well!  
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