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Teen Poetry #2
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DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA

0 posted 2000-03-10 12:18 PM


This is probably one of my best poems that I've ever written. I wrote it for a girl that I liked last year. I hope you all enjoy it.


In a World beyond Hope,
In a World without a Chance,
I really didn't know how to cope,
Every passing thought like a lance.

A World that knew not Peace,
A World that knew not of Love,
There was a swan among geese,
As beautiful as a white dove.
And then I saw it, and all was right.

A World covered by Shadow,
A World never knowing Light,
Then like a river's flow,
It came in all of it's might.
And then I saw it, and all was right.

In a World with a new Hope,
A World with a a Chance,
I Have found a way to cope,
Now all of my thoughts dance.
And now I have it, with no need to fight.


© Copyright 2000 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved
AngelDust
Junior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 30
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-03-10 12:22 PM


Very Nice DragonFang, and welcome to Passions! (I just joined too!)  

The poem is very well written, and who ever recieved that one sure was a lucky girl!

  -Angel-

"I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me" - Sugar Ray - Someday



Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
2 posted 2000-03-10 02:09 AM


Lovely poem.  I would love for a guy to give me this as a poem.  I hope you enjoy your stay here at Passions and, of course, at the Teen Forum.  I especially like the pattern in this.  Very nice.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."



angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
3 posted 2000-03-10 09:44 AM


I like this one even more than the first one I read.  The girl you wrote it for must have been very special.  I'd melt if someone wrote something like that for me....  I look forward to seeing more of your work soon.
~Kristi Lynn  

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
4 posted 2000-03-10 05:44 PM


Okay, I typed that up a little fast last night, made a couple of mistakes, first off, the first verse also has the "And then I saw..." and the second was just an omited word in the last verse, here is one that is all better. Also, thank you all, it is nice to be apreciated.


In a World beyond Hope,
In a World without a Chance,
I really didn't know how to cope,
Every passing thought like a lance.
And then I saw it, and all was right.

A World that knew not Peace,
A World that knew not of Love,
There was a swan among geese,
As beautiful as a white dove.
And then I saw it, and all was right.

A World covered by Shadow,
A World never knowing Light,
Then like a river's flow,
It came in all of it's might.
And then I saw it, and all was right.

In a World with a new Hope,
A World with a second Chance,
I Have found a way to cope,
Now all of my thoughts dance.
And now I have it, with no need to fight.


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-03-10 10:28 PM


Very beautiful work here, DragonFang.  I haven't yet had a chance to welcome you, so welcome to passions!  We're glad to have you!  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
6 posted 2000-03-10 11:01 PM


Thank you, I always like to be appreciated. And I am VERY glad that I found this site, amazing what entering random urls can do for ya  
4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

7 posted 2000-03-12 06:50 PM


this is fantatic! all i can say is what a lucky girl!
i like the way in which you have looked at love (presuming that's the feeling you're protraying) as a perspective of new hope in a seemingly unstable reality.

this is heaps good

Bec

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
8 posted 2000-03-12 07:02 PM


heh, actualy when I wrote it I was talking about friendship. But it was seen as love so much that I decided that "A new love found" would be a very fitting tittle, and I guess in a way I was speaking of love also, as I DO love all of my close friends. So either way, it works.

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.

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