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Teen Poetry #2
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dixie_stix3309
Junior Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 11


0 posted 2000-02-26 10:23 PM


I know this has been written my many other Authors, in many different ways, but here's my version.

When you stood there looking at me,
you were crying, I could see.

He left you, that cold day.
I knew you'd miss him in every way.

I want to help you laugh and play,
the way we used to, before that day.

How can I help you, say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry.

How can I help  you, live your life,
without him, bye your side.

Call me, when you need a hand,
I will be there, I'll help you stand.

When you need a friend to cry on,
i'll be there, it won't be too long.

How can I help you say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt and it's OK to cry.

How can I help you ilve your life?
Without him by your side.

Let me help you say goodbye,
i will stand here, by your side.



© Copyright 2000 dixie_stix3309 - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2000-02-27 12:20 PM


Very powerful and well done.  You did a wonderful job with this.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-02-27 01:39 AM


This is your best poem so far dixie_stix3309   I have a suggestion though, to fix the rhyme in the fifth stanza. Instead of:

without him, bye your side.

how about:

Wanting him, causing you strife


Keep up the good work  

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