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Teen Poetry #2
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Sara
Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27
LaCrosse WI, United States

0 posted 2000-02-24 01:54 AM


This poem was written for my ex-boyfriend after I was foolish enough to believe his lies again.


Again it has happened, I let myself believe
that you would be different this time,
I wore my heart on my sleeve.
One night we shared like nothing changed, how sad.
Now I see you're always the same and what happened that night was bad.
You led me to believe, with words so sweet and a touch so caring, that you wanted me back.  Our love we'd be sharing.
After being together you said you'd call, how naive I am.  You used me, because you knew I still loved you, a one night stand.
You used my emotions so you could have your way, the next morning you couldn't wait to get away.  
I still don't want to believe that you lied.  That's why that night at fireworks I cried.
I love you with all my heart and I hate that we're going to be apart.  There's nothing I can do, you're stubborn, always have been.  So I'll just have to wait and see what will happen


© Copyright 2000 Sara - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2000-02-24 02:02 AM


Very good poem Sara. It is so true and I have a friend who is in the stage of denial with someone like that. It is good that you got out of it because so many people don't.

Good work.

~AF~

Gadget28
Junior Member
since 2000-02-21
Posts 33
Miami, Florida United States
2 posted 2000-02-24 03:30 AM


This was beautiful, welcome to Passions! I'm a new member myself too!
sunshine17
Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 89
Bonduel, WI USA
3 posted 2000-02-24 04:11 PM


That's a good poem.  It's scary to think that a person can be so mean and cruel and who could forget heartless.  I know how you feel because I've been there before and I'm kind of there right now.  I wish you luck in whatever your choice is with handling it.....
Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

4 posted 2000-02-24 04:45 PM


Welcome to passions! Beautiful first post!!

Salma

 "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders."

Sara
Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27
LaCrosse WI, United States
5 posted 2000-02-24 07:21 PM


Thanks for the comments everyone.  I was a little scared to post a poem, I usually don't let anyone read them. If anyone has any helpful pointers I would appreciate them.
Angela16
Junior Member
since 1999-11-19
Posts 37
USA
6 posted 2000-02-24 07:32 PM


This poem was written really well. I have a friend who just went through that too.


 Angela

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
7 posted 2000-02-24 10:26 PM


Welcome to the family! Nice work!  As for a pointer, breaking up some of your longer lines would help the flow of this better.  Other than that, this is really beautiful and sad work.  Great job!

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
8 posted 2000-02-25 12:46 PM


Wonderful poem. This was a great first post. As for a few pointers. I would watch the long lines, punctuation, and the structure. They are the most important things to remember along with spelling. But in all, good job.
Sara
Junior Member
since 2000-02-24
Posts 27
LaCrosse WI, United States
9 posted 2000-02-26 03:36 PM


Just bumping it up.
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