Candy in the Garden of Eden

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Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 11
suburbia, IL

0 posted 2000-02-18 05:01 PM

I cry for you no longer.
keep your sugar coated kisses that freely tumble off your candy lips
that smiled to kill
what faith was left inside me
of hollow spaces
open you up and see how many ribs you are missing
of how many Eves you’ve created out of the dust
only to feed them the fruit of rejection
with a glass of nectar and ambrosia
hoping it will make you
invincible
from the serpents slithering about my feet
but even serpents can have candy smiles too.

This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me.

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

1 posted 2000-02-18 06:32 PM

Woh....this is really good! I like the connections to Adam and Eve. This just speaks for itself. Way cool!

"The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

poetic_butterfly
Junior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 25
illinois, usa

2 posted 2000-02-18 07:10 PM

i love it soooo much! really. i think you're an amazing poet.

....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most....

Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 11
suburbia, IL

3 posted 2000-02-18 09:16 PM

Thanks guys-
This was just one of those things that i started writing and had no clue where it was headed. Then it just sort of came together! Thanks for the encouragement

Nights
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 56

4 posted 2000-02-19 08:59 AM

This was a great first post. I enjoyed reading it. Hope to read more from you

"It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

5 posted 2000-02-28 11:14 PM

ophelia: i like this one a lot... i'm sorry i wasn't here to catch it when it (and you) first debuted on the forum... i hope to make up for it in the future

the imagery is the high point of this work, i'd say... very good job

sincerely,
jerome the mysterious priest

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

6 posted 2000-02-28 11:24 PM

Wow, awesome! I love the allusion to Adam and Eve and the way you wove the 'candy kisses' and such into it. It creates a very unique and stunning image. Keep up the great work!

*Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~

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