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sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be

0 posted 2000-02-18 09:22 AM


Anger slices through my mind
Visions of hatred bang against my skull
Mean thoughts race through my brain
Evil is here

It hangs like dead weight
Weighing down my shoulders
I'm on the brink of madness
I can not win

I try to contain it
My hand is on a knife
I can not put it down
I want to end my life

I try with all my might
Not to do this deed
The anger is to great
It can not be beat

The knife moves in a flash
Repeatedly slicing through the anger
My mind is controlled once more
As I fall to the ground

Tomorrow they will find me
And everyone will know
Exactly what kind of life
My father gave me...

Written last night..after an argument with my father

~~Lavada~~


 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin



© Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2000-02-18 10:05 AM


SC Girl, I don't have the best relationship with my father, and I have had thoughts of suicide before, but it isn't worth it! Even with all the things that are wrong with our lives, there are so many beautiful things. If you need to talk, e-mail me.

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

2 posted 2000-02-18 11:17 AM


It really isn't worth it. Why end your life because of an argument. Keep your head up ad don't let anyone bring you down!

Salma

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
3 posted 2000-02-18 11:22 AM


Thsi is just me releasing my anger...I'm not a violent person, so I take it out on my poetry..I'm not thinking about suicide, I was just very angry!   Don't worry guys...I wonn't do anything drastic

stay cool

~~Lavada~~

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin



chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
4 posted 2000-02-18 03:03 PM


heck no killin the sister is the other sis's job LOL not anyway i understand how u feel sis i feel the same way 24-7 and have come close to the S word so chin up and smell the cookies

 To be or not to be...that is the question.[hamlet]



sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
5 posted 2000-02-18 03:41 PM


chocolate chip or macadamia nut?  

[This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 02-18-2000).]

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
6 posted 2000-02-18 03:44 PM


what ever floats in ur cookie dough sis

 To be or not to be...that is the question.[hamlet]



sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
7 posted 2000-02-18 03:47 PM


ROTFLMAO!!!!

Cool one sis  

Verry COOL

HA HA!!!

I guess I'll take....ALL OF THEM!!!

CHOCOLATE HIGH!!! YEAH!!  

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin



poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
8 posted 2000-02-18 03:55 PM


scg: well, *heh* i hope you didn't show this poem to your father... it's a good poem, but i honestly dont think an arguement warrants this type of uncontrollable self-loathing and desire for self-destruction... honestly, when i was done reading (before i read the footnote) i thought this was the story of a young girl that had been abused harshly by her father (perhaps even molested)...  anyway, psychological things aside... i think this is a good poem... i dont like your use of the word "mean" in the 3rd line though... i think you should replace it with "malicious"... "mean" just doesn't tell me anything at all... it's too common...

sincerely,
jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
9 posted 2000-02-18 06:59 PM


well I'm glad to know this poem is not expressive of how you normally act. It was very good, you brought me into your head I think, and I've experienced such anger with relation to my mother sometimes. <sending you peacefulness>  

 "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
10 posted 2000-02-18 09:02 PM


Cool poem scg, my parents tend to draw such emotions from me a lot, although a tad less extreme   I hope you can still have a good relationship with your dad after this.
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
11 posted 2000-02-19 12:26 PM


If poetry is an outlet for your anger, then by all means, write, write, write.
I think you will always find supportive people here, willing to share thoughts and encouragement.
Best wishes,
Danny

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