»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #2
»
Revenge
| Teen Poetry #2 |
|
Revenge |
|
|
Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Revenge She walks out to the middle Up the hill of pain and hate Walking towards the sun Sky on fire and blazing Feels she has met her fate For all that she has done All the pain and turmoil she's caused Knows there's nowhere else to hide Feels no desire to go on Throws her arms out and falls to her knees Cries out to the world She reaches her hand out As if to touch the firey sun Knows no where else to go Knows not what else to do With her face in hands Tears streaming her face She confesses her sins What she has done has come back on her Feels she has met her fate For all that she has done All the pain and turmoil she's caused I'm not sure if this title fits for this poem. When I thought of the title though I was thinking of life's revenge on the girl for things she's done. If you have any suggestions on a new title please let me know..as you all should know i love to hear any comments you have. Isa  |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jeanna - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Isa- Exellent work! Although I do think the title "Revenge" doesn't quite work. Something like "Life's Revenge" may work a little better, or you could move away from that angle totally. Read this a few times and think about it. Wonderful work though! *Krista Knutson* There is a melancholy that stems from greatness. ~*Chamfort*~ |
||
|
poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
isabelle: i like this poem a lot very graphic and also rather well-written... keep up the good work..sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
||
|
JennyeMeshan Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 103Cecil, Wisconsin USA |
Thank you for writting this poem. It was great, I loved it! It sounds exactly like me and what I did to some people in my past. I lost my best friend over it because his brother, sister, and mom heard what I did to friends in town. I went out with two people and now they both hate me. I suggest you call the poem "Meshan" it means "to be regretful"....Your poem was perfect. Take Care! Jennye T. If thou can wait then thou shall stay |
||
|
Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Thanks alot for your replies. I'm thinking about the change too JennyeMeshan thanks again. Isa |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
