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Teen Poetry #2
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poetic_butterfly
Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25
illinois, usa

0 posted 2000-02-16 04:15 PM


i have some rather awkward poetry, like this. or maybe it's so awkward it works.......


so we run
repeatedly
go through the motions
never actually there
and you arrive at my door
three in the moring
my heart slips awkward
i guess i'm deceiving myself
assumed i really did love you
till you arrived
and love fell uncomfortably
into my lap
was it really there?
i sighed, shut the door
irreverent
it mattered no longer
you'd arrived
and my heart took flight
so i watched you soar
effortlessly through the sky
felt the pretenses return
as you slipped on the moon
the ache in my heart grew
and i longed for you once again
we'll go through the
motions of deception once more
as you flee
as you arrive at my door
i'll take the awkward pretenses
and toss them aside
but i'm begging you,
please,
until dawn arrives,
to knock a little harder.....



 ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most....

© Copyright 2000 poetic_butterfly - All Rights Reserved
poetic_butterfly
Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25
illinois, usa
1 posted 2000-02-16 11:18 PM


got every right to bump up my own topic.....
LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-02-16 11:28 PM


I really enjoyed this butterfly. It works because it flows as our thoughts do at times. And the whole idea is great since I can in part relate to it. Keep it up!

*yes you can bump up your own...we all do  

 "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-02-17 09:39 PM


I enjoy freeverse, and this is an extremely well written one!  This definitely works.  Great job, I'll be looking for more!

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

4 posted 2000-02-18 12:51 PM


nicely done.  I do like the quick free versed lines. bravo

 "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."

Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't live...you might die.

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