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Teen Poetry #2
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2000-02-15 04:45 PM


Can you hear me,
when I cry at night?
Can you see me,
when I do whatt isn't right?
Can you love me,
if I'm in so much pain?
Or if you loved me,
would it be in vain?
Can you see me,
my heart is sore?
Can you see,,
I can't take any more.
Can everybody see,
my battered, broken heart?
Can everyone at one point,
be ripped apart?
Can I,
be hurt again?
This time will it be,
you, my friend?

---------------------------------------------------
Oh my! I can't help myself, I'm soo mad! I was already sad that I didn't have a Valentine, then my friend takes Eric, the only person I care about away. Sad sad day. Aghhhh.

 Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.

© Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
1 posted 2000-02-15 05:12 PM


I can hear you. God can feel your pain.  You do have a Valentine.  Read my posting 'Have You Read Your Valentine?' in Spiritual Journeys forum.  Things will get better.
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-02-15 05:14 PM


Would a "real" friend take the only person you cared about?  
This was painful to tell, but well done anyway.
D

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

3 posted 2000-02-15 05:20 PM


This poem was great and I feel like that alot too, but really whoever took your guy away isn't really your friend. Confront her.
Keep smilin'   Not everyone is worth your tears.

Salma

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-02-15 06:04 PM


Chin up my friend. There are many others that dislike Valentine's day as much as you do. (myself included). Just take comfort in knowing it will get better.  
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
5 posted 2000-02-16 12:22 PM


allysa: this was certainly not a question to pose to me at this point in time... i'll refrain from answer, but i will say that your poem is very good... i particularly like the identification of the subject in the last line... good use of poetics...

sincerely,
jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
6 posted 2000-02-16 08:28 AM


Thanks for replying everybody. I feel a little better now. It's just sometimes, I get so mad cuz nothing seems to go right. Eric said he wouldn't go out with her and that he did like me but he likes someone else too, which, I guess, is okay. But I don't think I love him. Is it okay to really really love your best friend?? I think I do.


 Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2000-11-08 04:10 PM


thanks ya all, just addin this to my library.

Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
8 posted 2001-02-26 04:14 PM


good poem~ And yes, it's ok to love your bestfriend. I love my 2 bestfriends and one of them is a guy. I'm just not IN LOVE with them. there's a huge difference. You seem kind of young to me, i could be totally off. But when you get older or more mature for that matter ( and dont think im calling you immature im just saying you learn things with age) neways...when u get older you'll learn who your true friends are, if you have any. some people dont meet their bestfriend(s) until they're 20something. Best wishes and i hope everything turns out ok

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
9 posted 2007-11-15 07:46 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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