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Teen Poetry #2
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Nikkisweet
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

0 posted 2000-02-15 12:22 PM



Sunshine in my windows
Shining in my room
A smile on my face
The chirping of the birds

You feel like you're in heaven
Until the feeling stops
The sun is shinging brighter
The birds are chirping louder

Your eyes are starting to hurt
You can barly see
The chirping is giving you an earache
Its harder for you to hear

So you shut your window
No more shining there
The birds felt ignored
No more chirping there

You finally start to see
You're begining to hear
So you turn on some good music
And blow out your ear

(this shows what happenes when everything is going good until you've got a problem and you think you fix it but you just make it worse)

© Copyright 2000 Nikkisweet - All Rights Reserved
Dean
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
Canada
1 posted 2000-02-15 12:30 PM


I like your concept to this poem!!! Anyways sorry for thinking you were a guy!! I was ovisouly out to lunch!! Sorry anyways baby doll I like you poems!! Keep the good work up and something special will come out of it!!

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)


poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
2 posted 2000-02-16 12:05 PM


nikkisweet: i dig this one... very apathetic in nature... i like the last stanza best... especially the part about the music... good job

sincerely,
jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
3 posted 2000-02-16 07:24 PM


I like the way you placed your ideas into this poem. It proved very interesting and creative. Great job!

 "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler

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