Teen Poetry #2 |
Sunshine |
Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
Sunshine in my windows Shining in my room A smile on my face The chirping of the birds You feel like you're in heaven Until the feeling stops The sun is shinging brighter The birds are chirping louder Your eyes are starting to hurt You can barly see The chirping is giving you an earache Its harder for you to hear So you shut your window No more shining there The birds felt ignored No more chirping there You finally start to see You're begining to hear So you turn on some good music And blow out your ear (this shows what happenes when everything is going good until you've got a problem and you think you fix it but you just make it worse) |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
I like your concept to this poem!!! Anyways sorry for thinking you were a guy!! I was ovisouly out to lunch!! Sorry anyways baby doll I like you poems!! Keep the good work up and something special will come out of it!! "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
nikkisweet: i dig this one... very apathetic in nature... i like the last stanza best... especially the part about the music... good job sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
I like the way you placed your ideas into this poem. It proved very interesting and creative. Great job! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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